Sep 22: Break on through to the other side!

Well good gracious you adorable weblets!

This week, a significant milestone: re-entry into the 140s zone. Whoa, nelly it's been ages since I've been here. Place looks pretty much the same way I left it. Put on some old size 12 pants this a.m. and they not only fit, they were comfortably roomy. Ladies and gentleman, we have reached the closet re-integration stage. I am starting to wear stuff I haven't even looked at in 3 years. Flipside is, I tried to wear a skirt I bought in January and it was resting on my hips. Nice skirt, too. Ah well, these are problems I don't mind having

So yeah. Lost 2.8 in the last 2 weeks, putting me at 149.8. I love that - just barely teetering on the side of the 140s, but hellz, I'll take it. This is the lowest I have been since starting this blog so I'm feeling pretty optimistic

The C25K thing is fantastic. I'm in week 5 now, which is run 5 mins, walk 3, run 5, walk 3, run 5. Next week I have to run 8 mins. And then all of a sudden it jumps to running 25, with no walk breaks. WTF? I am trying not to panic at the thought of it. I've been doing a 5k run on a treadmill once a week, in addition to the three outdoor runs with the C25K app, so I can be ready for my 5K run at the end of October. My cardio/lung capacity is definitely improving, and I think the extra exercise may be boosting my metabolism too.

I celebrated by buying new shoes.

Sep 1: Unprecedented!

Good Thursday, you chubby delights!

I am back from a week of fellowshipping with some of the great people of our time. Shout out to Snag, Marathon Jan, Pants, LuckyDawg, the girls, and of course, the Big Miaouw.

I am also back from the typically dreaded post-vacation weigh in at Dub Dub. You'd better sit down for this. Not only did I NOT gain weight, not only did I LOSE the extra 1.2 pounds that had ignorantly crept back onto my child-bearing hips that have never borne any creatures... in fact I lost 2.2 pounds! OUTSTANDING!

I had a really full 11 days of vacation, starting with a visit to the Canadian National Exhibition with the Miaouw. We indulged in a plate of what I can only describe as "primal" french fries, then wandered the infamous Food Building, aghast and yet drooling at the excess surrounding us.

We had planned to emulate Templeton the Rat from Charlotte's Web, but found we just didn't have the (expandable) stomach for it. So we skipped the donut cheeseburger, the deep fried peanut butter and jam sandwiches, and we even managed to say no to the deep fried butter. This towering show of strength, combined with about 3.5 hours of walking, resulted in actual weight loss the following morning. What a way to start the vacation!

I spent a couple of days in Kingston, visiting with my oldest and dearest fwiend, Snag, and my mom. Counted my points, went out for Week 2, Day 1 C25K run. Proceeded to a few days in New York with beloved Pants and her two beautiful daughters. Went out for Week 2, Day 2 run (with the Miaouw in tow!) on a trail through the beautiful Rockefeller State Park Preserve where we saw 5 deer. Delightful!

Hurricane Irene kept me in New York a couple days longer than expected, and at that point, I confess, I stopped tracking my points, and I didn't do my Week 2, Day 3 run. But I didn't go apeshit or anything. I probably was a few points over for the whole week, including using up my activity points, but it was well worth it. Seriously guys, I ate pizza, Indian, Mexican, and even McDonald's in a moment of desperation during travel. Hard to believe I still lost weight.

This week I am repeating Week 2 of the C25K, just to get back into my routine. So far so good.

I am now .4 pounds away from a 30 pound weight loss. Right on!

Aug 10: BOOBS!

Oy. OY! Back off you salivating, stampeding horde! Disgusting.

Yes, today's topic is boobs. Breasts, for the purists. I've had 'em for 30 years and still feel weird referring to them by their Christian name. (Same way I always feel a little fraudulent calling myself a "woman", despite all the empowerment slogans out there, or more likely because of them.)

Well anyway, mine are boobs. I mentioned last blog that I think of mine disparagingly (the term was "fucking huge"), which caught the eye of a couple of friendly commenters. From the anything-but-typical lone wolf came the fairly typical response of "hey, what's to complain about?" And you know, far be it from me to complain about stuff. But okay, twist my arm. Except please don't because the resulting back-arching will only make them stick out more.

I have never liked my boobs. Not when they were little knobs sprouting up from the smooth planarity of my youthful chest, not a couple years later when, shopping for a grade 8 graduation dress, they bulged out of all corners of my no-longer-sufficient bra, leading my mother to astutely observe that it was time for a new bra. Not in my teenage years, when you would think if your boobs are ever gonna sit up straight on their own, this would be the time. (Alas, no.)

They are too big. They are quite heavy. The shape is not so much spherical as oval. They make buttoned blouses difficult to wear without the unsightly gaping business. But you know, as my nephew might say (if he weren't too horrified to be talking about my boobs with me... which, come to think of it, I would be too horrified to talk to him about too) - "That's a first world problem." I always thought if I was ever going to get plastic surgery, it would be a breast reduction and lift. But then I get horrified with myself for slipping into first world vanity contemplations.

So what's the deal with boobs anyway? Why are guys so into them? Is it because they (in most cases) don't have their own? (This raises the question: how do lesbians feel about boobs?) I mean, what if adam's apples were suddenly fetishized everywhere in popular culture? Or the fashion industry started designing pants for men that revealed just a hint of scrotum? I think I speak for most when I say, ew. Both of these body parts are fairly unattractive, and I'm fine with the fact I don't, as a woman, have either. Even the really good looking scrotums (scroti?) are quite wrinkly. Can you imagine if guys started getting laryngeal implants to make their neck bobbles protrude even more? Would adolescent boys be hyper-sexualized in the media?

Okay, I don't know where I'm going with any of this. A'ight I'm Audi 5000.

PS I got weighed today: maintained. This is good news because last Thursday I ate about 6 pieces of cake at work and then instead of doing penance that night, ordered a bucket of KFC as a cake chaser. It was awesome.

May 18: A kinder, gentler race

Hello, broccoli florets!

I come baring news of– wait a second.... I come bearing news of disintegrating fat molecules and non-death-inducing marathon participation.

I didn't get weighed last week, but I did get back on the wagon. I gotta admit, it was tough. The first couple days I kept wanting to chuck everything and dive into a vat of Kraft Dinner and eat my way out. You would think after getting poisoned as a result of over-indulgence that I would steer clear of more poison, but the opposite happens: once the floodgates open, it's really hard to shut them again. So I had a few days of really struggling to hold temptation at bay. Some days I really, really miss eating everything in sight. Of course, when I'm in the throes of it, it is rarely as satisfying as I imagine it will be. Which is not to say it is not satisfying.

Anyway, this week's loss was .8, bringing the grand total to 21.6 pounds.

On Sunday, my mom and I did our annual half-marathon walk, and I have the contraband "proof" to show for it. I like the irony but also hope I don't get hunted down and sued by the folks who want me to pay $14.95 for that image, sans watermark. Anyway, it was our best walking time ever (3 hours, 38 minutes - we usually come in around 3:45ish). Possibly this was because we just wanted to get out of the drizzly, shitty weather. For my mom, the walk was just a warm-up: she is doing the full marathon walk in Ottawa at the end of the month. Go, Marathon Jan!!

Walking 21 kilometres is not exactly a punishing workout, but it does strain the joints, especially in the rainy cold. I recovered pretty quickly this year, though (especially compared to last fall, when I decided to run as much as I could, since my mom was out with a knee injury. It was a totally spontaneous decision that I paid for over the next week - rolling over in bed was painful for the first two days, and I think I probably looked like a city slicker after a cattle drive whenever I was forced to stand or walk.) I gotta give props to L-Mac2, who has signed up to run the half-marathon this fall in the Toronto Waterfront Marathon. Girl's got the bug for it. I went out for a 5k run with her and some folks from work last week and she gallantly stayed behind with me and encouraged me to finish the damn thing. Goddamn I hate running. I have no capacity for pain and suffering. And I wonder, why does there have to be pain and suffering?

May 10: POISONED!

Hello lovelorn flocks,

Sorry I didn't update you last week. I actually had a stellar week - another 1.8 pounds gone. The last three weeks have seen more weight loss (5.6 pounds) than I lost in the previous couple months, I think. I don't know - I think that our bodies maybe have natural comfort zones they like to stay in and I've finally moved past one? Yeah, I'm talking outta my ass again. Whatever, I'll take it.

So yesterday was a spectacular spring day. Not a cloud in the sky, warm but not yet punishing. I decided to pick up a bottle of wine on my way home to share with the Miaouw on the glorious balcony. I had 16 points left at the time, and reckoned I could drink 3 glasses (10 points) and still have room for some teeny tiny sandwiches on Weight Watchers bread. Either that or just pass out and sleep through dinner.

Well, we enjoyed ourselves and lost all restraint. We ate a frozen pizza and then the Miaouw ordered Pizza Pizza. (Pizza appetizer followed by pizza entrée: beautiful treachery.) I ate four pieces, plus had four breaded wings. I kept thinking I should stop at two pieces, but it tasted AMAZE-BALLS and I haven't had a crazy binge like that since January.

Key to getting back on the emaciated horse is tracking all of my evil-doings. It's good to have a moment of reckoning, a come-to-Oprah in which you take stock of what you've done, own it completely, forgive yourself and move on. If you don't admit to what you've done, you can't really move past it. And when I entered everything into the tracker this morning, I discovered that actually, the damage wasn't so terrible. I used up all of my extra weekly points, and just one of my activity points earned this week. Not bad. Not great, but I've done much worse.

Well anyway, after scarfing down that delicioush "food", I went to bed and tried to sleep. Haaaarrrible night. I had the night sweats, I tossed and turned, had to get up every couple hours and glug cold water... Yikes, I totally poisoned myself. This is part of the reckoning. It's good to know my body has gotten to a point of intolerance when it comes to all that fat and salt. I said to the Miaouw this morning that I wished there was some way to tap into this horrible food-hangover feeling before chowing down. Then I looked at the leftover pizza and thought, dang that looks good.

Ah well. I probably won't get weighed tomorrow. It won't be a real number - it'll take a couple days to get all this shit -- literally, ugh -- out of my system. I told the Miaouw there better not be any leftovers in the house when I get home from work tonight.

May 1: Thank god THAT's over

Greetings hero worshipers,

OY. This morning was the dreaded Sporting Life 10k run. Big shout out to the Ladies of the Cancer who all ran awesome times. Particularly proud of my girl L-Mac2, who really encouraged me to do the run, despite my lack of conditioning. She did amazing. Well, they all did. Me, on the other hand, not so much. I ran a saggy-assed 1:18:30, which is 11.5 minutes slower than last year. Sigh. Hard not to feel like a total schlep in the wake of it. I think I walked almost as much as I ran. It was a really tough slog. Trying my best to feel proud of the fact I went out and did it, despite my relative lack of training. I am a bit bummed though.

But the result has me determined to improve, which is a fantastic takeaway. I realize that I really need to have a race to work towards as a goal, to keep me running and trying to improve. So this summer I am going to see about running a few 5k races. There are tons to choose from. Try to get a faster time for a shorter distance. It's less painful and I think more achievable. All the while I will hope to continue losing weight, which should also improve my performance.

Speaking of continued weight loss, Wednesday's weigh in was awesome - another 1.8 pounds lost, which is pretty amazing, the week after a 2 pound loss. I was awarded the coveted 10% key chain for having lost 10% of my starting weight. What a glorious coppery glow it has! Apparently there are charms you get to add to it when you hit milestone numbers like 25 pounds or whatever, I guess to ensure you don't lose your motivation after having achieved this ultimate prize. SWEET!

Apr 23: Fresh numbrrrs!

It's the weekend! The long weekend! Ba-da-buh-buh-baaaah I'm lovin' it.

So as you know, I like to count. I know I'm always joking about how the numbers aren't important and it's all about healthy lifestyle blah blah tofucakes. But for me, the binge eating/ food obsessing thing is a compulsive behaviour. People use compulsive behaviours to cope with the big bad world when a more grounded, in-the-moment sort of approach may be beyond their reach. When I make efforts to rein myself in and cut out that compulsive behaviour, it makes sense that I would offset the loss by turning to another obsession, right? I'm not saying I'm obsessed per se. Just sayin: thus, the origins of the counting love.

With that said, I have many fresh numbers to report:

Pounds lost this week: TWO
Total pounds lost: 17.2

Measurements!
Chest - down 2, total loss: 3
Waist - down 0, total loss: 3
Hips - down 2, total loss: 4
Thigh - down 1, total loss: 1

Training!
Ran 5 miles in just under an hour yesterday on the wonky home treadmill. I don't know what the dillio is with this treadmill. It's an old donated thing that does this weird stoppy-starty thing that can throw your whole rhythm off. I always seem to run faster on it, but maybe I'm running slower and the speed settings are also wonky. Regardless, I ran for an hour. Next weekend is the 10k, so I'm feeling prepared. It's gonna hurt but it's gonna happen.

Rock on, I loves me some numbers. Happy long weekend everybody!

PS regarding the image: I did an image search for "fresh numbers" and this was my favourite image returned. Don't care non sequitur.

Apr 14: #spinning

Greetings rock stars from Mars avec Adonis DNA!

Great news! I gained .8 this week. Gah, jeez, right? Well I am okay with it. I mean, I don’t get it, but I’m okay with it. I stuck with the plan and I worked out 3 times. Okay, yes, there was that incident Friday night with the three quarters of a litre of TOLL HOUSE Cookie Dough with Brownie Chunks LOADED Frozen Dessert. Yikes they can’t even call it ice cream. Anyway, yes, I ate a lot of it. But I calculated my points and it was within the plan.

So, you know… eh. Sometimes you do everything you’re supposed to do and your body just doesn’t respond the way you expect or hope it will. I was saying to a friend yesterday that it’s like long term investments. You can’t let a bad week freak you out. If you stick with the plan, you’ll eventually see gains in your portfolio. Holy crap that metaphor just triggered a huge dividend in the irony stock. (FYI, I had to spend about ten minutes on Wikipedia figuring out how to phrase that joke. I’m putting everything into irony derivatives. Maybe?)

Anyway, when you have a week like this, you have to find your win somewhere other than the scale. Spin doctoring is an important skill in life and is transferable across pretty much every plane of existence. So the great news from this week was my ever-improving fitness. The night before the weigh-in, (the same day I posted the workout music blog), I went to the gym and ran for a full hour, the longest I’ve run in probably a year. Distance was 4.5 miles or around 7k. This is awesome work on my part and I am very encouraged by my progress. And that’s how you spin a .8 gain into a major victory!

Oh sure there will people who earnestly say “this is not spin doctoring, you really did win! It’s not about the scale, it’s about changing your life and being healthier and loving yourself and putting Post Its on every mirror in your house telling you how fantastic you are”. Bless them! These sweet, well-meaning people are champion spinners and I tip my hat to them as they are #winning the life game, unquestionably! I think I would need to offload a huge chunk of my blue chip irony and dispense with my cynicism treasuries altogether to make that investment worthwhile.

Apr 7: Slow and starving wins the weigh-in

Well hello there, waist-wasters!

How’s everything going? I mean seriously. Would it kill you to call? The only person I hear from anymore is my friggin cat, and she just comes on here to post links to bizarre non sequitur youtubes. (Which are awesome.)

Alright, I’m done begging. So, I had an excellent week on the scales: lost 2.2 pounds this week. That’s like, a month’s worth of work at my current rate of progress. Guess I can just rest on my laurels for the rest of April now.

The thing is, I weighed myself on my wretched home scale yesterday morning and was utterly deflated to see that my weight had gone up this week. UP! I mean, okay, I said I was going to run (yog) 3-4 times this week and I only ended up going twice. But those times I went, I really gave’r, and I watched my fucking points (sorry mom) and there’s just no reason why I should have gained weight. And okay, if this were a blip, a one-time thing, I could perhaps be a little more relaxed and a little less italicized, but MY BODY WILL NOT LET GO OF THE FAT.

So, I was pissed. I decided desperate measures were called for: I dressed in my least weighty outfit (a t-shirt and my featherweight skirt), which is a pain in the arse when I walk to work because it’s so light that it rides up my thighs and I’m constantly pulling it down self-consciously. I could have taken the subway but I was looking to make up extra activity wherever I could. At work, I decided to forego any food or drink until post-weigh-in. I know, I know. It’s stupid, to put so much stock in a number that you have to use artificial means to manipulate. What can I say. I was desperate for good news, or at least not bad news.

So all morning I was sluggish and depressed. Anticipating another shitty result, plus no caffeine, plus I’m getting tired of the project I’ve been managing at work for six months. So noon comes round and I trudge off to the DubDub meeting with L-Mac², confessing my silly antics to her, which she laughed about in a very supportive and understanding fashion. Get on the scale and… WHAT THE! Down 2.2 pounds?! Wow. Who knew breakfast and a DDP weighs 2 pounds? (The other .2 was obviously taken care of with my nearly-naked wardrobe stylings, plus a half hour walk to work, I’m sure.)

Okay, as the warlocks say, "duh", this is obviously not a result based on skipping breakfast. I’m saying, my scale, she done me wrong. Maybe I shaved an extra half pound off with my morning neuroses, possibly a pound. Whatever, I’ll take it. Of course this introduces next week’s big dilemma: do I repeat this ridiculousness to ensure an accurate measurement from one week to the next? Or do I grow up and stop pulling stupid desperate acts of starvation and crankiness towards my co-workers and the world in general?

Wow, what a cliffhanger. For sure you’ll be tuning in next week to find out.

Feb 9: Shout out to Jan!

Hello edge-of-your-seaters!

It's Wednesday afternoon, which means I come bearing news of The Scale. We are friends this week: down 1.8, which is pretty not bad considering I barely moved my lazy arse all week. I gotta get going on the activity thing. I know it. I just don't feel like it, you know? Whatever, cry cry, wah wah, nothing new under this massive, luminous ball of plasma a.k.a. the sun.

So I check my Google Analytics every day, just to get a sense of my global audience. Today I had a visitor from Romania. I get these international students from time to time. I think they took a wrong turn at Albuquerque, because they don't stay long.

Ever since my mom got herself a little MacBook and a high speed internet connection (and I reminded her of the existence of this blog), I've been seeing regular visits from Kingston, Ontario. Now, it could be my nephew, studying at Queen's University, coming in from the Facebook link when I post new blogs there, but I'm thinking... wait for it... no. My sense is that it is more likely my mom. Cuz she checks every day for new content! I love it! Only thing is, sometimes I've been known to use the F word and I'm not talking about frankfurters. All this time she thought I was pure as the driven snow. I wonder, does she wrinkle her nose and turn away? Does she roll her eyes and shake her head like the sadder but wiser girl? Maybe she laughs, safe in the knowledge I cannot see her acquiescence? Perhaps I'll never know. Maybe it's best that way.

Anyway, Jan and I go way, waaaaay back when it comes to dieting woes. Currently she's rocking the JC and training for her next marathon walk in late spring. You read that right. She walks ENTIRE marathons. Well, one at a time. But holy mother of... me... guys, CAN YOU BEWIEVE IT? The woman is impressive.

So, just wanted to dedicate this blog to my mom and to say thanks for raising me up to become the blog writing goddess (bloggess?) I am today. Please feel free to pay your respects below. In fact, I encourage it.

To Jan!

PS to Mom, but also others if you are interested, Jenny Craig's latest guinea pig is the hilarious Carrie Fisher. She is writing a blog on the JC website about her experience on the program, much like Sara Rue and Valerie Bertinelli did before her, although the updates are sporadic.

Jan 27: Metabolism like oobleck

First off: shout out to the birthday girl, most Snaggest of All, Ms. Punica Granatum!

Okay, on to the business at hand. Now that I'm a card carrying DubDub meeting attendee, weigh-day is Wednesdays. I go to a lunch time meeting with my girl L-Mac² (another well-deserved shout out). I can see you readers checking your mental calendar and wondering "what the fizzucky, Kentucky, that's two weigh-ins you haven't told us about!" Calm down. We here at D-Weighted are all about becoming healthy people and we totally don't care about the numbers on the scale.

Respectfully,

Anyway. After my first big week (down 6.8 pounds - whaddup), I lost a measly .6 the next week, which I attributed to that snarky bitch Mother Nature from the Tampax commercials (sorry for TMI, but those ads are hilarious/punch-inducing), and then yesterday I learned I'd lost just one pound. Okay, okay, "we are not about numbers here" (press play, above).

When I was doing Jenny Craig, I fell into a bad habit of getting weighed on Saturday and then going absolutely apeshit berzerker and eating whatever I wanted, plus things I probably did not want, for the rest of the day. The first 3 or 4 days of the week would be spent making up for Saturday's bad behaviour, and so I was doing well if I lost a half pound to a pound in a week. This time around, thus far anyway, I have been soooo good! I don't even eat my damn flex points. I don't take weigh-day off. I continue primly on with my point counting and dogged adherence to the program.

I just can't believe how easily I put on 25 pounds in the fall, and how hard it is to lose it. I was hoping, at least in the first month or two, that rejecting the so-called "cheat day" mentality would result in a couple pounds a week loss, at least at first, especially because I have so much more to lose now. But perhaps I have permanently crapped up my metabolism. Or, I'm just old. I don't know.

The thing is, there is nothing to be done about it, except suck it up and continue on. I realize that I just CANNOT continue to slack off like I did in the fall and be okay with gaining a bit of weight, knowing I can re-double my efforts when I am more mentally prepared to do so. That shit just won't fly no more. It is irritating to say the least. But there's just no point in whining about it, because that's only going to foster resentment, which inevitably leads to bad behaviour (see diagram). It is what it is.

No worries, fwiends. I'm irritated, but undeterred. Still determined, still feeling good about improving my health, still realizing that the psychological issues that are behind the constant up and down on the scale is what I really need to address. I'm okay, and actually still feeling PDG in spite of it all.

May 11: Back up on the horse-wagon

Hello my little two-bite brownies,

[Aside: after a quick perusal of the Goog, it seems that Homestyle Two Bite Brownies are a Canadian delicacy, available in some US markets, but not pervasively. One less delicioush temptation for my American fwiends to deal with...]

Well anyway. Now that I've made myself crave. Just a quick check in. I gained .4 this week, which, considering my steely lack of determination last week is not bad. I have re-doubled my efforts this week (oh, except I finished off the dregs of the Miaouw's bag of Ringolo's last night. And some sort of nomtastic goodies in the kitchen at work yesterday. Pawdammit, everywhere I turn I am confronted by delicioushnesh.)

Anyway, inspired by my colleague and namesake L-Mac2, I have decided this will be a week of perspiration. Ran on Sunday night, worked out hard yesterday with Derek, and tonight I have big plans to go to a group exercise class at Good Life. Not sure which one/which location yet. If I don't do that, I will go home and run. But I thought it would be good to change it up a bit. Plus, the group ex classes are an hour, which I am less likely to do on my own, je confess. I'm looking at Body Pump, which combines light weights with cardio. Or maybe Body Combat: a-judo, a chop-chop-chop! I like the kicking and punching business.

Anyway, the big plan is to work out in some capacity every day this week. It's mighty do-able. I gotta give thanks to my girl L-Mac2 for her shining example. I love how we all inspire each other to do more.

So, what are you going to do this week to achieve the perspiration goal? (I've decided my goal shall be your goal. Unless you don't want to.) If you're still tied to your couch (no judgies! I love the greencouch), here's something to consider: The Couch Potato Workout. I've been meaning to try it for awhile. Anyway, it's better than nothing!

Did I say this was a quick check in? Stop talking! (Not you. Please, continue to talk.)

Apr 20: Marathons for commoners

Hello little cherubs,

First, let us count: this week's numbers
Saturday weigh-in says I lost 1.4 pounds last week. Yesss! Total grows to 14.4. Monthly measurements are next week.

Also, on Sunday I ran 5 miles continuously i.e. no walkie breaks! Holy shiza, that was new for me. I did all of it at a pace of over 5.5 mph. Actually most was at 5.7. My time was 52:49. And yesterday, I finally managed to run a mile at 6 mph pace (i.e. a 10 minute mile), without a break. I am trying to get used to running a faster pace, for shorter distances at least, so I am not continually shamed by the Ladies of the Cancer. This is contingent on none of them improving, of course.

Segue to the point
So clearly the running thing occupies a steady presence in my mental top 5 these days. I was talking to impressive actual marathoner Claire at work today. She referenced the upcoming Mississauga Marathon, which she is participating in. She mentioned wanting to beat Oprah's marathon time of 4½ hours. Dang, Oprah! That seems pretty good to me. This got me to Googling, and I came across an article from that bastion of Fancy Feast chumming for the pop philosopher fishies, salon.com, entitled How Oprah ruined the marathon by Edward McClelland.

The article was first published in November 2007 so it's not new. The author's incendiary complaint is that marathons have ceased to be competitive now that Oprah has brought her self help book club legions to the party, convincing everyone that anyone can run a marathon, and that the point of running one is not to win, but just to finish the damn thing. Hence the average race time in American marathons has expanded by around 45 minutes in the past 15 years. Schleps everywhere are bringing down the average in their selfish aspiration to get fit and challenge themselves to do something once unthinkable.

When Oprah expanded the sport, she also lowered the bar for excellence. For the previous generation of marathoners, the goal had been qualifying for Boston. Now, it was beating Oprah. Her time of four hours and 29 minutes -- the Oprah Line -- became the new benchmark for a respectable race. (That was P. Diddy's goal when he ran New York.)

Once the supreme test for hardened runners, the marathon became a gateway into the sport. Soon, gravel paths were crowded with 5-mile-an-hour joggers out to check "26.2 miles" off their life lists.

The guy comes off like an elitist twat, even if I kinda understand his point. I thought this was sort of funny if elitist and twatty:

I met a lawyer who started running because, "They say if you can run a marathon, you can do anything!" The marathon was no longer a competition. It was a self-improvement exercise.

Well anyway, who cares if some people use it as a self-improvement exercise? A test of their mettle, their ability to set a goal, stay focused on it, commit to seeing it through to completion. And all the while they improve their health and fitness. As long as the workhorse softies stay at the back, there's room on the road for both the inspirational athletes and the commoner schleps.

That does it. I've just decided: after the 10k in May, I will focus on my next goal: the Acura 10 miler (16k) in July. I'm doin' it! If that goes okay, who knows. A half-marathon schlep may be in my future. And if I can run half a marathon, I can half-do anything!

Dec 22: Merry Catmas to all!

Hey there Christmas Cats!

Just checking in before taking awff. For those of you who must know: lost a pound this week. Three week total: 6.5 pounds (kicking and screaming). My scale attempted to foil me this morning and at first it said I'd only lost half a pound. I persisted, and eventually won out. After a half pound week last week and THIRTY NINE (ah, ha, ha, haaaaaaaa) ACTIVITY POINTS EARNED this week, I was not taking anything less than a pound of weight loss. My scale fears me, as well it should.

So I hope you've all been burning tons of fat with all this godforsaken bullshitting fuckmaking Christmas shopping assiness. And of course peace on earth. I swear, I might as well wrap myself in Saran Wrap before heading out into the madness. Or so it feels like, anyway.

Last week's triumph
On Friday we had our office Christmas party. It was the first fun one ever on record. Nice going, Cancer! I am very pleased to report that, although booze and cupcakes were served, I partook of neither. I danced vigorously (gave myself two Activity Points) and stuck primly to four pieces of vegetarian sushi. THEN I went to my workout with Derek! THEN I walked up the hill to the pub to meet SuperBarb and the Boyz and stuck primly to salad w/ grilled chicken and white wine. Okay, six glasses. Still though. It was good to be righteously shitfaced. Then on Saturday I didn't even stuff my face with greasy hangover carbs because alas, I had used up all my flex points for the week already. THE STEELY DETERMINATION! (It helps if you don't get up til noon - less eating time to avoid.)

The week ahead
Alright, it's Christmas. The office is full of Point-y delicioush crap. And then I'm going home for a long weekend of festivussing. This is my pledge to you: I will stick within my points, and if I go over, I will earn them back in Activity Points. (Normally I try not to swap my Activity Points for food if I can help it.) Mostly I just want to not gain weight.

I want to thank you all for sticking with me this past year and always being so supportive and empathetic. I hope you all have a warm, happy, functional holiday with the people you love. With portion-appropriate servings of delicioushnesh!

xo,
Lindsay

Dec 17: Vintage!

Heya folks!

Quick update: lost only half a pound this week. Which bugs me, but this time around I am already prepared to accept the fact that my body really, sincerely, genuinely loves fat and is very reluctant to let it go. I am practicing compassion for my hips, thighs, boobs, arms... change is never easy.

Now on to business: I have a very special treat for you today! Tremendous thanks to SuperBarb for sending me the link!

For you career dieters out there, I know you've done the Dub Dub before. Can you remember what the program looked like when you first signed up? My first time was back in 1984. I wish I still had the materials. I can visualize them still. Instead of the POINTS system, the program referred to food "exchanges". You were allowed a certain number of exchanges per day from each food category: fruits (I think veggies were probably still "free" back then?), meats, dairy, starches and fats. So it was a little bit stricter and probably slightly more nutritious because the program was based on recommended daily allowances for each food group. With the POINTS system, you can eat chocolate or a Big Mac or whatever, so long as you track the number of points in it. It's basically a fancy way of counting calories.

Well anyway. I am curious to hear your thoughts on previous iterations of the Weight Watchers program. But that's an aside. The reason I got to thinking about such things is because Barb sent me a link to this HI-larious website featuring scans of Dub Dub recipe cards from 1974! Outrageous gross and fantastic, all at once!

The site is the work of Wendy McClure, a Chicago area writer who discovered these cards in her parents' basement. You have to read her comments alongside each of the recipe cards. Holy shit they're hysterical! She even wrote a book about them! Holiday gift ideas, anyone?

Thanks again to Barb. Fan-friggin-TAStic find!

Apr 26: weekly results viddie, featuring LOLA!

Hello faithful handful!

I had a lazy day with the Miaouw today. Had planned to do a run tonight but... didn't. Oh well. I made a new video for you anyway.

My thoughts are consumed with the Sporting Life 10k run next weekend. I'm nervous that I'm gonna suck out loud. I mean, I know, I know, it doesn't matter what my time is, at least I'm doing it, blah blah justificationcakes. I know that whatever happens this year will just be a starting point to measure my progress against in years to come. I think it's a good idea to think of it that way, as a multi-year plan, looking forward to sustaining an active lifestyle instead of just adopting it for a short period of time in an effort to lose weight.

I don't know if I'll ever get used to running outside (I always feel like I'm hurrying somewhere, like I'm late and panicky, instead of just settling into a rhythm, like I do on the treadmill), but I'll commit to doing at least this one run every year, and trying to improve my time. I may never try to run for a longer distance, who knows, but I will definitely continue to run after next weekend. I like the challenge, and I like pushing myself to better my numbers every week. For awhile I was running at 5 mph (which, who are we kidding, has technically got to be classified as a jog). Lately I push it up to 5.5 mph and see how long I can sustain that speed. Then when I run at "just" 5 mph, I feel like I can go for a lot longer before I need to rest.

I've decided that a time of 80 minutes next Sunday would be outstanding, but I would be happy with 85. If I come in past 90, I will have suffered out there. I did run 5 miles (8 km) in one hour on the treadmill, a week and a half ago. I don't know if I can do that kind of time running outside. We shall see. Fun! Well, thinking about it now is fun, and reflecting on it when it's over will be. I don't expect the run itself will be too, too fun. I think it will be something to endure and to feel powerful and accomplished about as soon as it's over.

Mar 22: Frustrated

I think I need to change my weigh in day. Why does my body hate Sunday? Is it some sort of latent rebellion against my fundamentalist teen years? Or... yikes... is God punishing me because it turns out he's a vindictive, sexist, white old man after all? I just don't understand it.

Okay, yes, I had the very minor slip up with the chocolates and the McDonald's. But that was a week ago. I worked out, ate right, and yesterday when I weighed myself, I was back on track, down a pound, at 152.5. Then I walked half an hour to the gym, worked out for an hour with Derek, ran for another hour on the treadmill, walked (stumbled) home, and ate reasonably. This morning, I weigh myself. 154. Come on. COME ON!!! I went and sat on the couch and sulked for 15 minutes, went to the bathroom, and tried again. 154.5.

AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Well, I'm not going to do a weigh in video today. I'm gonna see if God takes Monday off, and maybe sneak in a weigh in while he's not looking, and hopefully my weight goes back down again.

I am working out 5-6 days a week at this point, faithfully training for my 10k run, eating around 1300-1400 calories a day, plus or minus 200. There is no way I should be gaining weight. So, what can I do. Plug on. I was at least very encouraged by my first one hour session with Derek. He had me doing "super-sets", where we do a set of weights and then a 30 second interval of cardio, e.g. skipping rope. Haaaarrrrible. My calves are aching today as a result. He said he doesn't usually start clients on super-sets the first time they do an hour session, but he'd watched my running viddie and figured I could probably handle it. I felt really strong yesterday, so much so that I was able to put in an hour of running with walking breaks, to a total of 4.5 miles on the treadmill. I am Iron Man!

Anyway, whatever. I refuse to make myself sick over this. I am trying to live a more healthy lifestyle, and training any harder or eating any less is not going to be healthy. So, I just have to say the serenity prayer or something. Suck up to God, maybe.

Mar 19: mid-week viddie!

Shot on location! This is me, catching up the YouTube crowd on what you all heard here first: I ate my face off on Sunday. Nice change of scenery for y'all, including distressing full body shot, all jiggly and such, for prolonged period. I am Iron Man!

In other related news, last night was my final intro session with Derek, my trainer (a.k.a. "Master Pain"). We had a nice long chat/consultation, and I re-upped for six months with him. I will now be seeing him for one hour sessions twice a week (previously half an hour) and watching whatever sweet income surplus my promotion in November hath wrought dwindle away. Oh well, it's worth it. I am focussed on achieving this goal.

Anyway, feast your eyes...

Mar 17: Life is like a box of chocolates...

...you never know when you've gonna cave and buy a box of chocolates.

Okay, so, this past week, I was a MACHINE in the gym. I did cardio six days, for a minimum of 45 mins, but up to an hour (and on Wed/Sat when I met with my trainer, it was more like an hour and a half all tolled). It was great; I felt great. I'm definitely increasing my endurance as far as the running is concerned (on Friday night I was on the treadmill for 55 minutes! Some of it was walking but that's okay.)

So I guess I was thinking, jeez, with all this added exercise, for sure I'm gonna have a great week on the scale. And when I weighed myself a couple days before weigh in day, I was 152.5, which was 1.5 pounds down from the previous Sunday. Hoohoo!!!

So imagine my annoyance on Sunday when I got on the scale and it said 153.5. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to care about these numbers. YOU TRY not caring about the rassin-frassin numbers!! It is a life-long habit. Some weeks I am better at letting it roll off than others. Anyway, I know it's just chemistry or something. Not to mention my scale is a piece of unreliable shit.

So I went out for a nice long walk in the sunshine, like I said I would. About 3 hours. And on my way home, I picked up some groceries. Took my time, wandering the aisles, considering various sinful treats I might indulge in. And I didn't get any of them. But then I stopped at Shopper's Drug Mart and bought a box of chocolates. And then I stopped further up the street at McRaunchy's, of all places. But here is the (quite small) moment of (sort of) triumph: instead of a quarter pounder with cheese and medium fries, I got a cheeseburger and small fries. And then I went home and ATE IT AAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!

So, I guess that's why I haven't posted a weigh-in video yet. I mean, I still lost weight. And I'm not even really sure why I caved. I think I was just missing the binge sensation. I don't know if any of you know what I'm talking about, but sometimes I just want that experience of getting lost in the food-drug. I was right back on track yesterday, though I didn't exercise, and I'm back on track again today, with plans to run tonight. That's one cool thing about getting into a regular exercise routine: I find I miss it when I take a day or two off.

Anyway, thank god that's over. One of the reasons I am chronicling this weight loss journey online is to make myself accountable. It's important that I share the slips as well as the great moments. Thanks for being here to bear witness.

PS the chocolate was delicious, until it got to be really gross and sickening.

Mar 9: new viddie!

Hiya! I have a new video. It's really long; sorry about that. I had to cover a bunch of stuff, including measurements, weigh in, a very special shout out, and the 10 k announcement for the YouTube community.



For my video challenged mom:

lost another pound
chest: down 1.5" this month (down total 2.5")
waist: down 2" this month (down total 3")
hips: down /75" this month (down total 1.75")
thigh: no change (down total .5")