Aug 29: Oh Tee Dub

Well hey there empty chairs! I see you finally gave up. Have you learned nothing? I know I haven't.

So from a low of 144 pounds, achieved in mid-December last, I settled in at around 152-155 for a few months, and then just went, aaahh, fuckit, cake. So, I let there be. There was a month to six week period this summer where every week I'd peer in my garbage and vow not to have any more junk food wrappers in it, followed by a shrug at the vow and more wrappers. I put on like, 10 pounds in July I think. Anyway, I realized I was in dire need of a Scale Nazi, and have resumed attending DubDub meetings (I was trying to go it alone, just subscribing to their online tools, for the past 5 or so months).

Anyway, I'm Oh Tee Dub. OTW. On The Wagon. Of course, last month I was also Oh Tee Dub - Off The Wagon. Will there ever be a time in my life when the wagon just doesn't figure in? Doubt it. Damn I hate the wagon. It's like Eve and the apple. Once you have awareness of the wagon, you can't un-know it. I have been tarnished by the stain of Original Slim. Not that I ever was. Whatever, it rhymed. Point is, I don't know how to not obsess about it, so whatever, I'm just gonna continue on this path and it's fine. This is just me and I'm kinda okay with that.

I'm two weeks back "OP" as the professional dieters --who don't call it a diet; the professional lifestylers, I should say-- refer to it. Which is to say, On Program. I am also resurrecting the C25K program for the second time. Meaning I'm doing it for the third time. My body doesn't have any recollection of being able to run 5k outdoors in a reasonable time and fashion. Maybe all the aspartame is giving my body Alzheimer's. Anyway, I'm in week 2 of that. Up to running 90 seconds at a time, with 2 minutes recovery in between. Wheeze. And I don't mean Mrs. Jefferson. Ah well. Gotta start somewhere. And then start over again. And then actually start from further back since the last time because I'm 12 pounds heavier than the first time I did it.

Good times, friends!

Jan 27: I'm still here (in more ways than one)

Greetings fat sympathizers!

It has been too long, n'estle's-pas? Well, not to get all insecure or whatever, but I was starting to get a feeling like, meeehhh, we, teh internet, are losing interest in you losing weight. I didn't take it personally. It has been nearly a century since I started this thing. Initially I had plans to talk about lots of related topics like mindful eating, body image, depression and food... stuff like that. After awhile though, it seemed like I was just posting an update once in awhile of how much weight I'd lost that week. Felt like things was gittin stale.

In the meantime, my boyfriend set up a blog for me as a Christmas gift this year, where I could write about all kinds of stuff, not just weight loss. Check it out, if you like: The Green Couch (yes, the very same). I've had fun filling it with musings about stupid stuff.

But I find that I miss my old friend, D-Weighted! And it's not like I've given up on the struggle. (If that's the only prerequisite to maintaining this, I'll be posting new content well into the next century, assuming modern medicine continues to find ways to drag life out.) So, an update!

As per subject line, I am still here. I checked my last blog, from September 22. My weight then was 149.8. Four months later, my weight is now 148.2. Argh. Well, I did manage to get down to 144, but then Christmas happened. After Christmas, there was Christmas recovery. I basically indulged in a very old coping mechanism of shutting down and stuffing down. Feelings and food. So I gained around 10 pounds. Lost the first 5 in a week, so it was really only a net gain of 5. But as we all know, it comes off a lot slower than it goes on. So I am doing my best to let go of my disappointment in myself and just look forward. Continue with a lifestyle that has been working well for me, chipping away at the wobbly bits.

By the way, I more or less completed the C25K program and ran the 5K race at the end of October (that's me on race day). My time was 33:52. Not exactly ssssmokin, but I got 'er done. If you double it, it's close to my best time ever for the 10K race.

Also, I got these stupid Zaggora Hot Pants, which I blogged about on The Green Couch. Despite my sheepish after-the-fact belief that this is most likely a scam, I am giving them a go. As they are weight loss related, I will do a follow-up blog here on D-Weighted sometime in the future. If for no other reason than to continue to provide L-Mac with material with which to mock me.