Jul 29: Family Weekend approacheth

Heya rubberneckers!

Whassup. So, I lost 2.2 pounds last week. Right on! I am still 1.4 above where I was pre-birthday, and that in itself was around a pound up from my glorious, all-too-brief visit with the 140s. I am trying my dangdest not to get caught in this stubborn up-down-up-down cycle that tends to happen when I get bored. But you know what they say: tryin' is lyin'. Do, or do not. There is no try. Eh, suck it Yoda.

So on Saturday we are heading to my mom's for the annual Family Weekend extravaganza. Back mid-day on Monday. My plan is to hold off on getting drunk and eating everything for as long as I can, which may take me to as late as Saturday night. We'll see.

The last session of Booty Boot Camp was supposed to be last night. I skipped it, and then it turned out it got cancelled due to thundershowers. So it's been rescheduled for Friday night, and now I have to face the whole guilt trip over again about wanting to skip it but knowing it is for my own good, blah, blah etc. I am still SO not interested in sweating and making effort. This of course contributes to the up-down-up-down phenomenon. Or is a result of it.

I had a totally crazy notion that has not yet departed the swirling, dry ice pensieve where my thoughts live, which is to sign up for TWO locations of Booty Boot Camp (a Mon/Wed class and a Tue/Thurs class) - just for the month of September. Four weeks of pain and whinging. The idea is to bank on the limited amount of Fall Renewal Energy that I always have - you know, that sense that it's another school year, everything's a blank slate and if you just apply yourself, you could really hit the big time as far as achieving your potential. It's the Back To School factor, which I have never quite shaken, some 20 years after school has ended for me.

So I'll keep you posted. Meantime, pray for me as I go for the gold this weekend. I will settle for bronze. Actually, a certificate saying I've completed the weekend would be fine.

Jul 20: Aqua Fit Hunger Force

Number one in the hood, yo!

So, I mentioned last week that I was gonna give Aqua Fit a go. Most atypically, I followed through and actually went. Right on! Pointsss!

It was pretty much as I had anticipated. Not very challenging, and for the first time in my life, I was the youngest and fittest person at a group exercise class. Am I going back? You bet your Hand Banana I am!

It was so great to be in a pool again. Something about the scent of chlorine is so comforting. Maybe it's the guarantee of safety from horseflies, weeds, water snakes and leeches. Maybe it's blueness. Yeah, I realize it isn't blue. kthx. I don't know. Me and chlorine, we go way back. When I was a kid, my intrepid single mom worked hard and got a promotion and we moved out to a deluxe townhouse in the suh-huh-burb. We chose our unit for its close proximity (directly across the street) to the pool. In summer, my mom didn't need to worry about babysitters. I was in the pool all day, every day. My parents called me "water baby". And then several years ago, I was at a job that was right around the corner from a community centre. I got into the habit of swimming every day on my lunch break. I had to buy a new bathing suit about three times a year, I swam so much. I loved it.

So back to the Aqua Fit. It wasn't very taxing. I almost felt guilty for going to an exercise class and not feeling more desperate for it to be over. I decided I could show up half an hour early and swim lengths, to get a bit of cardio action. So tonight I'm stopping at The Bay to pick up some new goggles, perhaps even an Esther Williams flowered bathing cap, and then heading for the pool.

Right on!

Jul 19: Echo... echo... echo... [sniffle]

Hey man, where'd everybody go?!!!

I am lonesome. To prove it, I ate an entire box of Lucky Charms yesterday. Alas, it wasn't until I checked my Google Analytics yet again and discovered a sad little lumpy trail very close to zeroes every day that I realized, over the top antics and food contest triumphs are useless in cyberspace unless you blog about them.

Maybe y'all are just echoing my own apathy back at me. Too hot too type. Well, sure.

Anyway, I went back to JC on Saturday. My weight has zoom, zoom, zoom-a-zoomed, up to 154 pounds. You would think that would have prevented the Lucky Charms incident but you would have thought wrong. And I would have been insulted that you know me so little after a year and a half of this vicious cycling. As it happens, no harm was done since this place is emptier than a dictionary entry for "refudiate".

Come back, my people! I need you!

Jul 15: Back on the ole Wagon Wheel

Okay, okay, my rebellious foray into stomach expansion has at last played itself out. I am still in the process of ascertaining exactly how much damage my little jaunt has wrought. I weighed myself on Saturday morning. It was not pretty. I was up 7 pounds from the day I flew out west (about a week and a half earlier), and that number was already up a few pounds from the birthday eatings. Of course a lot of it is water weight. I have dropped 5 pounds in the last 5 days of wagons east.

I am currently not at all interested in exercise. Last week it was sweltering, India-hot in Toronto. Since I was OTW anyway, why would I struggle through booty camp when instead I could make a beeline for air conditioning and pizza? (Um, how about, because it's better to sweat from exercise than from bloat? Yeah.)

I went to Booty Camp last night for the first time in 2 weeks. So much for the exercise motivation of not wasting money I've already spent on a class. Ah well. It was tough but not terrible. I was totally inspired by a new woman who is much heavier than me, toughing it out, finishing last in all of the cardio courses set out for us (run to certain point, do 5 pushups, run some more, do burpees, run up and down hill, do sit-ups, etc.) When I'm falling behind I just skip the pushups or whatever, but she was doing everything, no matter how long it took her. I thought, good on her. (Less so on me...) She and I were later partnered up for an insane exercise (one person is on the ground in pushup position, the other grabs pushup person's legs, sort of wheelbarrow style, and you have to do pushups with them holding your legs up. We both fell on our faces with every attempt) -- anyway, we both just congratulated each other on even BEING there and decided not to worry about keeping up with the January Joneses.

Tonight I am going to check out Aqua Fit at the Manulife Centre Good Life club. It's the only Good Life in Toronto with a pool, and it's only a 10 minute walk from my apartment. I thought I'd try something a little lower impact, in water no less, since my motivation to sweat is not what it has been in the past. (Well geez I sweat every day just walking to work!) Part of me feels guilty for "taking the easy way out" i.e. going to an exercise class for old ladies and fatties. Isn't that lame? Anyway, I realize my hubris will most likely splash water in my face when the old ladies kick my ass into the deep end tonight. We shall see.

What about y'all? Do you exercise in summer? How do you stay motivated? I go pretty easy on myself. Perhaps too easy, but then again, at least I come back to it eventually. What I lack in stamina I make up for in Sisyphusian determination. Or, inevitable anxiety about my ever-bulging pooch. Either way.

Jul 7: I ca fee my tugh

Dearest bloglodytes,

It's been a little while. I like to keep you in suspense. Currently I am in my early summer shame spiral. It's an annual event for this time of year. Not feeling too shamey, I am happy to report. Here's the sitch: my birthday is June 26. This year, the festivities started a little early. We had pre-birthday birthday week eatings. Then there were the birthday eatings. Not too bad this year, actually. This was followed by a couple of days of post-birthday eatings. Oops. Next thing you know, it's June 30 and I'm on a plane out to my Nana's for 4 days of family eatings. I made fair-to-middling attempts to keep the sabotage light and airy, like a buttery croissant. Getting drunk those two nights didn't help. Ah, WTF. It's family. I'm supposed to endure it sober?

So anyway. I came back on Sunday morning this week. Red-eye. I went to bed when I got home, and when I woke up later I felt like, hmmm... not done eating yet. So this week has been total baron munchausen. I haven't weighed myself since before I left for my Nana's - a week ago, come to think. I keep thinking I can still rescue this trainwreck, get rid of at least the water retention numbers before I get weighed on Saturday. But then I start to feel reckless. But then I see myself in the mirror. But then I think of chocolate. But then my pants are not as roomy. You can see my dilemma!

Anyway, slightly off the rails at this point. I just ate a 235 gram bag of Salt and Vinegar chips, here in my office at work. The bag was hidden from view in one of my canvas grocery bags. I was sneaking handfuls out. (SECRET EATING!!! The best kind for obsessive eaters such as I!) Alas, my tongue feels like it went for a swim in the Dead Sea. This gives new meaning to the term "salty tongue". Fuck, yeah!!!

Later dudes. Enjoy the summer shame spiral.