Apr 26: Return of the Stubby Hourglass

Wouldja lookit the date on this post? It's almost MAY! It's a windy day here in Toronto and on my walk to work I looked up and saw a big old tree, covered in glorious green leaves, rustling and swaying to and fro, and it just made me beam. Love this time of year! Blossoms on the trees everywhere too. Fabulous.

Okay, so on Saturday I had my monthly measurements taken. In addition to the .8 of a pound lost, bringing the grand total to 15.4, I was heartened to learn I've lost another 2 inches off my waist, plus an inch off the pooch and an inch off the gazongas as well. The hips remain stubbornly shapely. Rump likes being rump!

Since the start of February, I've lost seven inches from my waist! Wow. My middle was getting pretty thickly there. My measurements as of Saturday are 38-30-41. (Maybe 41.5?) If I was 4 or 5 inches taller, that actually wouldn't be too bad! But for now, I'm pretty pleased - at least everything is in proportion. Total inches lost all over is 19. But I take this number with a grain of salt because they now measure the abdomen/pooch, which means you get another bunch of inches to add to your overall total that once went un-tracked. Still, though, it is great to see the progress represented numerically: NINETEEN! NINETEEN INCHES OF FAT REMOVED, AH, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAAA!

Okay so this Sunday is the big 10k run. I'm feeling ready - last night I ran 5.5 miles (10k is about 6.2 miles), in a blistering time of 57:51. I don't know how it's going to go, running outside. Last year I was surprised by how much faster I ran than I had been training/expecting. I think a lot of it is the adrenaline, the excitement of the event, being surrounded by all these other runners, the energy you get from one another. I would like to better my time from last year (1:09:07) by 4-5 minutes if possible. I feel like I've been training a lot stronger and faster than I was last year. But I realize that's a lot of time to shave. I'll be happy with any time that is an improvement on last year.

Rock on kiddiewinks!

Apr 20: Marathons for commoners

Hello little cherubs,

First, let us count: this week's numbers
Saturday weigh-in says I lost 1.4 pounds last week. Yesss! Total grows to 14.4. Monthly measurements are next week.

Also, on Sunday I ran 5 miles continuously i.e. no walkie breaks! Holy shiza, that was new for me. I did all of it at a pace of over 5.5 mph. Actually most was at 5.7. My time was 52:49. And yesterday, I finally managed to run a mile at 6 mph pace (i.e. a 10 minute mile), without a break. I am trying to get used to running a faster pace, for shorter distances at least, so I am not continually shamed by the Ladies of the Cancer. This is contingent on none of them improving, of course.

Segue to the point
So clearly the running thing occupies a steady presence in my mental top 5 these days. I was talking to impressive actual marathoner Claire at work today. She referenced the upcoming Mississauga Marathon, which she is participating in. She mentioned wanting to beat Oprah's marathon time of 4½ hours. Dang, Oprah! That seems pretty good to me. This got me to Googling, and I came across an article from that bastion of Fancy Feast chumming for the pop philosopher fishies, salon.com, entitled How Oprah ruined the marathon by Edward McClelland.

The article was first published in November 2007 so it's not new. The author's incendiary complaint is that marathons have ceased to be competitive now that Oprah has brought her self help book club legions to the party, convincing everyone that anyone can run a marathon, and that the point of running one is not to win, but just to finish the damn thing. Hence the average race time in American marathons has expanded by around 45 minutes in the past 15 years. Schleps everywhere are bringing down the average in their selfish aspiration to get fit and challenge themselves to do something once unthinkable.

When Oprah expanded the sport, she also lowered the bar for excellence. For the previous generation of marathoners, the goal had been qualifying for Boston. Now, it was beating Oprah. Her time of four hours and 29 minutes -- the Oprah Line -- became the new benchmark for a respectable race. (That was P. Diddy's goal when he ran New York.)

Once the supreme test for hardened runners, the marathon became a gateway into the sport. Soon, gravel paths were crowded with 5-mile-an-hour joggers out to check "26.2 miles" off their life lists.

The guy comes off like an elitist twat, even if I kinda understand his point. I thought this was sort of funny if elitist and twatty:

I met a lawyer who started running because, "They say if you can run a marathon, you can do anything!" The marathon was no longer a competition. It was a self-improvement exercise.

Well anyway, who cares if some people use it as a self-improvement exercise? A test of their mettle, their ability to set a goal, stay focused on it, commit to seeing it through to completion. And all the while they improve their health and fitness. As long as the workhorse softies stay at the back, there's room on the road for both the inspirational athletes and the commoner schleps.

That does it. I've just decided: after the 10k in May, I will focus on my next goal: the Acura 10 miler (16k) in July. I'm doin' it! If that goes okay, who knows. A half-marathon schlep may be in my future. And if I can run half a marathon, I can half-do anything!

Apr 14: The case for personal training

Good lunchtime, good people!

I had an awesome run last night. Per the training schedule the Ladies of the Cancer are using for the Sporting Life 10k on May 2nd, I ran 4.5 miles last night. I have been trying to gently increase my speed and endurance. On shorter run nights I set a higher speed on the treadmill and try to run my fastest mile (best so far is 10:24 - I am aiming for 10:00, or 6 mph, for now). So I ran 3 miles without resting, in around 32:50. Which is great, averaging an 11 minute/5.5 mph mile. Very happy with that at this point. My time for the whole run was 50:56, so not quite the 11 minute mile on average, but still, I was pretty happy. It is good to see progress, and to feel it.

Alright, so, subject line. Hang on: background to subject line. My contract at the cancer place is ending on July 31. I've been here for almost a decade. Almost my entire 30s! So, I look forward to a change. It's been a good home and allowed me to buy a modest condo in downtown TO, but, yeah. Need a break, and a change.

So I'm saving a nest egg for the "break" part of that, which means changing my budget. I'm giving up my personal training after this last batch of sessions I've paid for are used, which... I'm not sure (can't bear to find out), but I think is soon. In a month or so. I'll have to check with Derek.

The cost over a year for my personal training was around $8000. Holy geez I could probably buy some decent plastic surgery with that! I used to worry about it being an indulgence, but the Miaouw reassured me - hey, it's my money to spend! I have to say that, for me, it was money well spent. It kept me going to the gym faithfully twice a week, no matter how I was feeling, what I was eating, how depressed I was, or injured. I know I would not have been going to the gym in the fall if I hadn't been financially committed to going.

But I was glad when I went. And I worked out harder than I ever would have done on my own, using muscle groups I'd never worked before and learning about better technique, etc. I told Derek I wanted Michelle Obama arms and by god I will have them one day! In the fall and winter, he checked in with me every week about my depression, and was totally supportive and non-judgmental when I confessed falling into old eating patterns, how shitty it made me feel about myself, but that I was committed to working hard for that one hour with him.

I'm going to miss seeing him twice a week. He is a great guy and we have fun together; we have become friends. He calls me "Lindsay-son" (shouts it, actually, while I cringe) and I call him "Miyagi". It's dorky and awesome.

So I'm trying to plan for a more cost-efficient motivation to keep me in check once the sessions with Derek are used up. I think I will sign up for Booty Bootcamp again. I did a 4 week session in Fall 2008 and it was tough and awesome. It's women-only, outdoor, twice a week, rain or shine, an all-over workout with cardio and muscle resistance training. I couldn't walk for two days after the first session I went to. Anyway, much cheaper, outdoors (I hate the crowds in the group exercise classes at the gym), supporting small business and businesswomen, and social too. I will keep you posted.

Additional motivation: there is serious talk amongst the Ladies of the Cancer that we may sign up for the Acura Toronto 10-Miler on July 11. That's 6 more kilometres/4 more miles than we'll be running on May 2, with 2 months to train up to it. I think it's totally do-able and great motivation to stick with the fitness plan. Also, proceeds go the cancer fighters, so rah, rah, live the brand and all that!

Lunch time is over! Time for you to log in to Facebook and see what new postings are there!

xo
LQ

Apr 12: Thinspiration

Easter recap: nom nom nom nom
Plateau update: down one pound over past 2 weeks - I think Easter nomming may have fired up my metabolism a bit? Anyway, I'm feeling okay. Total loss is 13 pounds since Feb 1.

What a feelin...
So I was at the gym on Friday for my torture session with Derek. It wasn't my best outing. I gotta admit, I was a little whiny. Derek wasn't in the mood for it (imagine if your job entailed listening to fat people whine about push ups - shudder). I was feeling kinda bad about it. Not like, slit my wrists bad or anything, but just... "you can do better than this".

Anyway, the last 7 mins of our workout, we were doing some cardio on the bike. The last minute is always a set of two 20 second sprints, and I go as hard as I can. I'm thinking it probably looks impressive, especially because I sweat so much that I look like the Flashdance water scene.

So in the locker room, I'm blow-drying my hair and this tall, gorgeous, fit woman with a fantastic afro walks up to me on her way out and says, "You were really inspiring me during my workout today". For reals! I said, "Right on!" and bumped fists with her. She inspired me right back, or helped me to reframe my negative thoughts and feelings about myself. Cool.

Hail Ana full of grace...
The Miaouw and I have been talking about the online pro-ana movement, or sub-culture, or cult, not sure which is the best term to describe it. It is freaky and alarming and fascinating. If you don't know what I'm talking about, the link above gives some info, but it's better to visit some pro-ana sites in themselves, where young girls defend anorexia nervosa as a "lifestyle choice", not a mental illness, and post images of skeletal models as "thinspiration". Yeeeikes.

The Miaouw pointed out that for some girls, this value set has morphed into a quasi-religion, in which they pray to the personification, "Ana" to give them strength to resist temptation, to forgive them when they slip, to make them "free and light". Whenever I land on one of these sites, I always wonder if it's real or satire. I mean, dude, it is So! Fucked! Up! Check this out, from Cassandra's site, ~Save Me Ana~:

Dear Ana,

I offer you my soul, my heart and my bodily functions. I give you
all my earthly possessions. I seek your wisdom, your faith and your feather
weight.

I pledge to obtain the ability to float, to lower my weight to the single digits, I pledge to stare into space, to fear food, and to see obese images in the mirror. I will worship you and pledge to be a faithful servant until death does us part.

If I cheat on you and procreate with Ronald McDonald, Dave Thomas, the colonel or that cute little dog. I will kneel over my toilet and thrust my fingers deep in my throat and pray for your forgiveness.

If you stay with me, I will worship you daily, I will run miles a day, come rain, snow, bitter cold or searing heat I will run from the pain and in fright. I will do 1,000 sit ups a day and lie to my family about what I eat and how I feel. I will stop weeping when I feel your warm arms embrace my shivering body. I will numb the hunger pains with razor blades and your strength.

If you give me the strength to fade away I will love you and worship you forever. When i'm finally faded to nothing, when you've given me the gift of ending this torturous life. I will float on to the next world and be thin and beautiful payment for my undying love for you in this world. I ask only one more thing you, please ana, take away this hatred for my pain and allow me to be free and light.

Forever, Cassandra

I think I speak for all of us when I say holy fucking jesus h KEY-RIST on a popsicle stick. How can this not be read as satire? I srsly don't get it. Wow.

As is typical of us, we miaouws have irreverently started throwing out prayers to Ana. The Miaouw asked me to print this image (by Ruth Gwily) off for him at work, for his "thinspiration". I did, and when I got home and saw half a stick of butter he'd left out on the counter, I tacked it to the fatty demon, right in its heart! We're gonna start work on a treatment for a new TV show: Ana the Butter Slayer.

Well anyway, that's a two-sided look at inspiration; one sane and healthy and slightly ironic; the other totally off the charts crazy for cocoa puffs that I shall stab myself in the eye with if I attempt to ingest one. Whatever works for y'all!