Greetings, summer funsters!
So it's been awhile. If you've been following along, this would be the point at which you'd expect some sort of sheepish, mumbling, kicking at the ground admission of wagon abandonment, with the accompanying ass-cushion that a three month hiatus from healthy living always brings. Well, ta-da! Not happening.
Yeah, I kinda stopped blogging for awhile there. I was starting to feel like the only purpose of writing was to give a weekly update from my weigh-in. What happened to all my high-brow pretensions of using this blog to examine food and body issues, eating in awareness, the zen of sweat, and the use of affirmation post-it notes to achieve self-actualization? [Seriously, last year for Christmas, my mom got me this book called Operation Beautiful that prescribes leaving notes for yourself on every mirror that insist you are beautiful, regardless of what the mirror has to say about it.]
Well anyway, I've now lost 28 pounds. It's a slow process, but I feel like, after six plus months of living this way, it's become a routine. At this point, I am closing in on the mark (around 150) that has been some sort of psychological barrier for me in the 2.5 years since I started writing this blog. It's not like I've never been below that level, but in recent years, attempts to shed the extra weight have stalled at around this point. So, even though it feels like a massive accomplishment to say, with as much casual indifference as my limited acting skills can convey, that I've lost close to 30 pounds, I don't actually feel like I look all that different. I'm not into clothes that have hung faithfully in the closet, waiting for their chance to impress the world with their cuteness. I am still struggling with my self image. I'll be walking outside and catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and feel dismay rather than pride. Why are my boobs still so fucking huge? I know it's just about patience and hanging in for the long haul.
Glad to still be at it, though. And I'm feeling pretty optimistic about my future chances of looking cute again.
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I hear ya. For me that mark WAS 160 and now it seems to be 155, and I have been hovering around 157 for the last three months.
ReplyDeleteGood news is I'm running! This blows me away since its never something I thought I could ever do, nor did I have any desire to do it! But here I am tying up my laces to my running shoes and strapping on the boob armor and plugging the ear buds in and trotting around the neighborhood for 30 minutes at a time. No stopping even.
I can feel myself, in the times of stress I am currently experiencing, leaning into food and not caring what I put in my mouth. I'm going unconscious and that is dangerous. I've lost 27 pounds also, and DO NOT want to put 'em back on!!
And fwiw, I think you're always cute.
Holy bleep. Two and a half years? That's rockin'. And so's twenty-eight pounds.
ReplyDelete(As for the boobage, you complaining? Really?)
Gah. Blogger will not let me log in to comment. And what's more, Blogger takes me to another page to tell me my log in isn't working, and doesn't bother to save my comments when I return to this page. Blogger, you suck.
ReplyDeleteDylan! [for the third time, not that it matters] - you are a superstar. I was actually gonna shout you out for your awesome persistence with the C25K thing. I got the app a month ago (inspired by you!) and haven't started the program yet. But I will! Props for your amazing weight loss, and also your general ass-kicking ways. I love that we're on this journey together.
Dave! how awesome to have you stop by and howl! Yeah, 2.5 years - sounds like a lot until you put it into context that I've been yo-yo dieting for around 28 years. Heh. But chronicling it for the masses is a relatively new gig.
As for the boobage, seriously, it's a pain in the ass. Er, front. Stuff doesn't fit properly and people stare at your chest, even/especially your boyfriend, and don't even get me started on exercising with these giant flesh bags flopping around all over the place. It's a wonder I'm not unconscious.
funny, just the other day i was wondering what happened to this blog. apparently you've picked up some esp with your amazing weight loss. double congrats!
ReplyDeletetrish
Trish, you have been a total stalwart in your support of this goofy blog! Thanks for always checking in with your words of non-judgy support. It has meant a lot to me.
ReplyDeleteI am able to log in and comment using Firefox!
ReplyDeleteApparently Blogger doesn't mind Firefox but, like many on the internet, thinks Internet Explorer is dumb.
Whoa! That is major impressive. Your success is fantastic. I'm rootin for ya, even as I have lost my way. Keep up the awesomeness. And yeah, you're cuter than shite. We know it.
ReplyDeletePatti
hey Patticakes, thanks for the props. I confess, it would feel more spectacular if I hadn't gained so much weight to begin with. But sometimes I think about how I'd be feeling this summer if I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror at 182.2 pounds. I'm sure 154 would sound great. Everything is relative.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about losing your way. Or, your weigh. heh. If following this blog for the last couple years has taught you anything, it's gotta be that this whole first world problem of struggling to get a handle on having a seemingly endless supply of delicious, instantaneous gratification is a lifelong battle. Ebbs and flows, waxies and wanies. You'll be back.
Well huge frickin' kudos to YOU! That's amazing, and I can tell you for a fact that all the weight you are shedding has found a new and happy home with me. So you don't need to feel bad about that.
ReplyDeleteBoobage - sister, I TOLD you, it's all about the right bra, or "over the shoulder boulder holder" as it were. I'm an E cup, I know from whence I speak.
Now come and have some drinks with me, I miss you!
Love,
Barbopolous
Barb, awesome, didn't know if you'd see this! I always just figure in the summer you're at the cottage any time I think of suggesting a meet-up. Definitely we are due, anyway. Msg me.
ReplyDeleteAs for the right bra... I'm sure you're right. I think I need to blog about boobs. Stay tuned.
Love and miss you!
Brrrrrrrttttt!!!! I'm sad to see boobs and rump go! They're very soft to do happy paws on.
ReplyDeleteDon't you worry little Lola. There will always be plenty enough to go around. brrrrttt!
ReplyDeleteLOL!
ReplyDeleteOK...I SWEAR...ok...wait. I'm gonna go comment on your boob post instead of here. But it is about BOOB ARMOR.
Best. Thing. Ever.