May 10: POISONED!

Hello lovelorn flocks,

Sorry I didn't update you last week. I actually had a stellar week - another 1.8 pounds gone. The last three weeks have seen more weight loss (5.6 pounds) than I lost in the previous couple months, I think. I don't know - I think that our bodies maybe have natural comfort zones they like to stay in and I've finally moved past one? Yeah, I'm talking outta my ass again. Whatever, I'll take it.

So yesterday was a spectacular spring day. Not a cloud in the sky, warm but not yet punishing. I decided to pick up a bottle of wine on my way home to share with the Miaouw on the glorious balcony. I had 16 points left at the time, and reckoned I could drink 3 glasses (10 points) and still have room for some teeny tiny sandwiches on Weight Watchers bread. Either that or just pass out and sleep through dinner.

Well, we enjoyed ourselves and lost all restraint. We ate a frozen pizza and then the Miaouw ordered Pizza Pizza. (Pizza appetizer followed by pizza entrée: beautiful treachery.) I ate four pieces, plus had four breaded wings. I kept thinking I should stop at two pieces, but it tasted AMAZE-BALLS and I haven't had a crazy binge like that since January.

Key to getting back on the emaciated horse is tracking all of my evil-doings. It's good to have a moment of reckoning, a come-to-Oprah in which you take stock of what you've done, own it completely, forgive yourself and move on. If you don't admit to what you've done, you can't really move past it. And when I entered everything into the tracker this morning, I discovered that actually, the damage wasn't so terrible. I used up all of my extra weekly points, and just one of my activity points earned this week. Not bad. Not great, but I've done much worse.

Well anyway, after scarfing down that delicioush "food", I went to bed and tried to sleep. Haaaarrrible night. I had the night sweats, I tossed and turned, had to get up every couple hours and glug cold water... Yikes, I totally poisoned myself. This is part of the reckoning. It's good to know my body has gotten to a point of intolerance when it comes to all that fat and salt. I said to the Miaouw this morning that I wished there was some way to tap into this horrible food-hangover feeling before chowing down. Then I looked at the leftover pizza and thought, dang that looks good.

Ah well. I probably won't get weighed tomorrow. It won't be a real number - it'll take a couple days to get all this shit -- literally, ugh -- out of my system. I told the Miaouw there better not be any leftovers in the house when I get home from work tonight.