I'm having a pretty good week, D-Weightedly speaking. Working out hard, eating well, resisting temptations (ALERT! ALERT! Retirement party at work on Tuesday! GAAAAHHH hors d'oeuvres everywhere!!! I ate a damn banana) and this morning my scale is pretending I've lost another pound (149), and I'm just gonna go ahead and believe it.
So yesterday I was brushing my hair in the morning and I looked in the mirror and HOLY GEEZ THERE ARE BULGES COMING OUT OF MY ARMS!!! Check it out, I have muscle tone! Okay fine, I still have flab tone too, but I think the biceps may be starting to gain a bit on the swaying suspension bridges that are my underarms. I recreated the image this morning for you so you can bask in my success yourselves:
Anyway, I was at the gym last night and telling Derek about this minor success, and he referred to these strange bulges as my "guns". I'm like, my GUNS! I have GUNS! I retorted, "My lovely lady guns!" It was all v. exciting.So last night I had this crazy dream that my biceps were no longer these subtle, shapely, sexy arm humps, but had turned into freakish Swanson's Hungry Man biceps, like I'm a competitive lumberjack or an Olympic rower or... I don't know... a man. I flexed and they had this cartoonish reaction. It was weird and a little disconcerting. Michelle Obama's arms don't do that. So I think I'm gonna have to watch it. No steroids for me.
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OMG. You crack me up. I'm laughing so hard!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd RIGHT ON!!! You look TERRIFIC!!!
I was fondling the muscle tone in my shoulders last night...mmmmm....MUSCLES!!!
Thanks babe. You'll notice that my lipstick matches my tank top, if not my bra strap.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE that you were fondling your shoulders! AND, I love that we are taking back the word "fondle". [[[shudder]]]
Rock on with yo muscular self!
All in all, I'd say that was an awesome dream. It reeks of power and control! Heh heh. I don't know for sure, actually, but I think it does. You got the power!
ReplyDeleteI'm also all for matching lipstick. We ladies can never go wrong asserting ourselves feminine-wise. Particularly when wielding kick ass guns.
(B)Patti
Patticakes, the dream was either about power and control, or maybe I have some sort of latent transgendered something or other... meh, I can't even be bothered to think of an ending to this joke. So yeah, power! Awesomah powah!
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