Hello, empty theatre!
Quick update: I have started yogging again! I was holding off on reporting this, since the struggle to find motivation to exercise has been iffy at best. I didn’t sign up for the Sporting Life 10K, because I thought there’s no way I’d be ready for it. I had this romantic if sweaty notion that every year I would improve my time, and this year, what with the excess weight and the whole sloth appreciation society business, I know that won’t be possible. So I was letting that defeat me before I even got started.
Well screw that mentality. A week and a half ago, my office moved into a new building, closer to the Good Life. I decided to make good associations and new habits with this new environment, and have been going to the gym after work regularly. The first time, I got on the treadmill and told myself, whatever you have to do, just do it. So I started with 2 and 1’s (run 2 minutes, walk 1). By the end of each two minutes, I was a mess, but I was determined. I just set the speed lower. Yesterday I was up to 4 and 1’s, which is great improvement over just 10 days, I think. Even so, it took me 40 minutes to run 3 miles. Back in the day I was going 4-6 minutes faster, but whatever, I’m out there, doing it, which is a MAJOR WIN. Or, winning. Whatever the kids and the crazies are saying these days.
So with all that extra activity, I still only lost .8 last week. My total weight loss over the past month and a half is something like 2.4 pounds. Jeez. Even so, I feel great about returning to the exercise thing. I knew I would get back to it eventually. I’ve decided I’m still going to sign up for the Sporting Life 10K on May 1. I don’t give a shit what my time is; for me, the triumph will be showing up and gettin’ ‘er done.
Okay, on to the titillating subject line at hand: The Miaouw has a couple of unorthodox diet tricks that I thought might be useful if you are out of your mind and if you first sign a waiver that you won’t sue me or anything.
Well anyway, these are just some ideas that I in no way endorse and will not be held criminally responsible for. Enjoy, little lab rats!
Quick update: I have started yogging again! I was holding off on reporting this, since the struggle to find motivation to exercise has been iffy at best. I didn’t sign up for the Sporting Life 10K, because I thought there’s no way I’d be ready for it. I had this romantic if sweaty notion that every year I would improve my time, and this year, what with the excess weight and the whole sloth appreciation society business, I know that won’t be possible. So I was letting that defeat me before I even got started.
Well screw that mentality. A week and a half ago, my office moved into a new building, closer to the Good Life. I decided to make good associations and new habits with this new environment, and have been going to the gym after work regularly. The first time, I got on the treadmill and told myself, whatever you have to do, just do it. So I started with 2 and 1’s (run 2 minutes, walk 1). By the end of each two minutes, I was a mess, but I was determined. I just set the speed lower. Yesterday I was up to 4 and 1’s, which is great improvement over just 10 days, I think. Even so, it took me 40 minutes to run 3 miles. Back in the day I was going 4-6 minutes faster, but whatever, I’m out there, doing it, which is a MAJOR WIN. Or, winning. Whatever the kids and the crazies are saying these days.
So with all that extra activity, I still only lost .8 last week. My total weight loss over the past month and a half is something like 2.4 pounds. Jeez. Even so, I feel great about returning to the exercise thing. I knew I would get back to it eventually. I’ve decided I’m still going to sign up for the Sporting Life 10K on May 1. I don’t give a shit what my time is; for me, the triumph will be showing up and gettin’ ‘er done.
Okay, on to the titillating subject line at hand: The Miaouw has a couple of unorthodox diet tricks that I thought might be useful if you are out of your mind and if you first sign a waiver that you won’t sue me or anything.
- Do not wear winter jackets in winter.
- Blood donation on a regular basis.
Being from southern California, winter is an anomaly to the Miaouw. I got him a winter coat for Christmas two years ago. He brought it back to California and then forgot it there. But he is undaunted. He goes out in the frigid sub-zero temperatures in a cardigan with a windbreaker, and when I look at him like he’s nuts, he insists that this is a weight loss scheme. I suppose there are a lot of extra calories to be burned through violent shivering. I think he also thinks the little metabolism elves are taking chunks of fat storage and throwing them on the fire, trying to warm up his body. I gotta admit, this theory sounds kinda sciency.
So the idea is, not only do you lose the initial mass from the liquid (great for pre-weigh-ins!), but that your body burns calories in generating more blood to restore your reserves. At one point, he was suggesting we do a blood clinic crawl – donate blood every day for a week. Alas, it never came to pass, so I can’t offer up any evidence to support this wild theory. The other drawback, of course, is you wouldn’t be allowed to eat the cookie afterwards. That would totally defeat the purpose, obvs.Well anyway, these are just some ideas that I in no way endorse and will not be held criminally responsible for. Enjoy, little lab rats!
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I finish every race I've ever done at the back of the pack...but I just keep telling myself I finished ahead of everyone else sitting at home doing nothing.
ReplyDeleteLittle Mac, you and me both, babe. We'll be clean up crew together in four weeks! Thanks for continuing to inspire me with your tireless work ethic.
ReplyDeleteSilly humans. I think you need to be more qat like. Running? How about 10k of parkour.
ReplyDeleteI better not catch you trying any of that!
ReplyDeleteOkay, you can jump up to the top of the door, but NO SCALING BUILDINGS OR JUMPING ACROSS ROOFTOPS.