Mar 16: One of the best falafels OF ALL TIME

What up, groupies?

It's been a long time since I blog and rolled. Its been a long time, been a long time, been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.

Yes it has.

Sorry about that. You will be pleased and perhaps surprised (I shall take no offense) to hear that I am still "OP"* as they say at the dieting trade shows and online fora. I had a week where I lost nothing, then two weeks in a row where I missed my DubDub meeting (last week for JURY DUTY! Quel excite! Except, turns out, not.) Found out today I lost 2 pounds. That's for three weeks, plus the week before that I didn't lose, just maintained. So, yeah, a little irritating. But whatever, it's still down, so that's awesome. Also, Moammar has been advancing on the freedom-from-fat-fighters who want me to exercise regularly, quashing the revolution. I need to institute a No Green Couch Zone or something. I know, this metaphor is beyond bizarre. This is what happens when you run out of decent blogging material and just start letting the consciousness stream forth.

So while I was on jury duty, I started reading Breaking Free From Emotional Eating, the Geneen Roth book I mentioned awhile back. Some interesting notions. She advocates eschewing the notion of "diet" forever, which sounds pretty awesome, I'm sure you'll all agree. She also suggests eating WHATEVER YOU WANT, which is equal parts tantalizing and terrifying. The big proviso is that you learn to eat when you are hungry, not when you are lonely, or bored, or because it's the habitual time you normally eat, or all the zillions of reasons we eat that have nothing to do with hunger. The idea is that if you learn to listen to your body, to recognize real hunger and feed yourself accordingly, you will come to trust it. And the same goes for eating what you want, and what you need. When she first decided to give up dieting and eat only when she was hungry and to eat what she wanted, she ate chocolate chip cookies for every meal for two weeks. She gained weight initially, but eventually she ended up losing 30 pounds over the next couple years. And she kicked the chocolate chip cookie yen.

It was interesting, reading this book at a time when I was mentally free (from work or the TV or most any distractions) to contemplate it. I had to buy my lunch every day, and reading this book that is urging me to allow myself to eat without guilt, to eat what I wanted, to the point of satiety, kinda messed with my head. Not necessarily in a bad way, just... it's a different way to think about food and eating. It's not an easy fix – there is a lot of heavy duty emotional work that has to happen. I'm not ready for it yet. But I did let myself eat what I wanted one day on lunch. I had a falafel, which is not something I normally crave. I was very hungry by the time I ate it. I sat down to eat, and did not have any distractions, like a book or the TV or a computer or even a conversation. I looked out the window at the hustle-bustle of Dundas Street West and just savoured that falafel. My god, what a falafel. It was incredible. I enjoyed it so, SO much. At the end of the day I went home and looked it up and found DubDub says 13 points for a falafel. A bit steep (lunch for me is typically a 6 point Lean Cuisine or similar). But I didn't crave anything more after that, did not snack or anything, so it worked out fine.

I am trying this approach on a little bit at a time, to see if it fits. I have this counter-intuitive notion that I want to lose the weight first, and then adopt this no-more-dieting approach. Sigh. I'm sure I'm not the first to think that way. Ah well, soldier on.

PS holy geez, just found the falafel image for this post; looking at it full size and reliving my falafel experience. It is a fond memory, but I am happy to report that I am not obsessing over the desire to go out an replicate it immediately. But some day.

* "On Program"