Jan 19: I'm bored

New and improved D-Weighted surround sound: Click PLAY.



The little arrow up there. Yes I'll wait.

Aight, that's it.

Okay, so if Iggy Pop is the Chairman of the Bored, I'm gonna put in for Secretary. Who will bring the motion? Second? Carried. I'm just going to go ahead and assume two of you raised your hands, since here you are, reading my meticulously captured minutes... Of the meeting... That goes on in my head... When there is nothing else there to fill it.

Moving on.
So, I lost a pound. A measly, paltry, beggarly picayune pound. (Hat-tip: thesaurus.com.) Blah, blah, blah, slow and steady, healthy rate of loss, etc., oh, and do me a favour and STFU. Golldangit, you kids, I sweated my BAWLLS off this week, racking up what I thought was an impressive 46 Activity Points, using only 9 of my 35 weekly flex points. And yet the fat, she stubbornly clings. What can I say, I have a very attractive skeleton. Can't get those squatter fat cells to move out without building a frigging barricade and starving them out, it seems.

Ah well. When life hands you... nothing, make nothingade. Assholes.

Continuing good work
I've been back at the running. I ran twice last week. I'm trying to stick with 3 miles / 5 kms for now, and then I do my 10 minute abs video. The other night I did the 3 miles in 36:05, which I thought was pretty effing good, considering last week's entry, where I mentioned running it in 37:40. I really had to push myself, but I felt good about it. On Caturday, the Miaouw and I walked for two hours to pick up Lola's heart meds. The vet clinic is around 4.5 k from my place, so round trip was 9 k or around 5.5 miles. A good hearty walk. We rewarded ourselves with some EXCELLENT Indian food. Relax, bitches, I counted my points, even then, and ate light that night. On top of this stuff, as always, Derek tortures me twice a week. Whattaguy. So I'm feeling pretty good about the activity.

Boredom and Anxiety: is there a connection?
I'm trying hard not to give in to resentment. I feel like I'm bored with my menu but I know I'm mostly just pissed and feeling deprived. I'm not actually all that deprived. Hang on a sec. I'm not actually AT ALL deprived, big picture speaking. I think it's just the notion of restriction. I find myself fantasizing about boxes of chocolates and large orders of fries. Never a good sign. I'm also really fucking bored at my job, which doesn't help. I look to food as a source of satisfaction and emotional excitement. Also, since I watched a marathon of the show Obsessed, I am trying to practice more awareness about how I use food and eating as a distraction from anxiety. Is boredom a manifestation of anxiety? Or something that can cause anxiety? Honestly, I want to know what you think.

Hang in there kiddiwinks. Don't the January get you down.

Jan 12: Deferred damage report

Good Soldiers of the Fat Wars!

Sorry for the lengthy hiatus. I reckon yer used to it by now.

So, where were we? Ah, yes – my holiday pledge to you:

I will stick within my points, and if I go over, I will earn them back in Activity Points. (Normally I try not to swap my Activity Points for food if I can help it.) Mostly I just want to not gain weight.

Pffffffffffftttttttt! Okay, obviously I had to say that. I think I am to be admired for telling myself it was a possibility. Or... something.

Well anyway, it was Christmas Eve and the Miaouw and I were driving to Kingston to fellowship with my family on this most cherished of consumer occasions. We fought, he called me a See You Next Thursday, I bawled like a baby and would have insisted he pull over except we were driving on a 4 lane highway at the time, so instead I just cry-shuddered til we got to town and then got him to stop at a gas station where I attempted to clean myself up. He was contrite, but the damage was done. I said, "Let the stress eating BEGIN!" and I never looked back.

And so it was, that the week between Christmas and New Years, plus the weekend following New Years, I was once again OhTeeDub: off the wagon. By the end of the 10 day stretch, my jeans were feeling depressingly snug at the waist again. FOOOOOCCCKK!!! You GUYS! GAH! Well anyway, I didn't weigh myself last week, but I got back to the business at hand, and this morning when I did my Tuesday weigh-in, I find that I am up just 1 pound from my pre-Christmas weight, so all in all, I'm feeling okay.

I am re-committing myself to my night-time running. I ran three miles on Saturday - it took me 37:40 to do it, which is well off my best time, but at least I did it. The other thing I am experimenting with, for as long as I can take it, is not eating my 35 weekly WW flex points (review of the WW Points system) or my Activity Points. So far so good, but if the austerity measures get to feeling too tough and I'm in danger of chucking the whole thing, I will have something to fall back on.

I note with amusement that a year has passed since I started this blog, and my weight is 2 pounds less than it was then. How v. Bridget Jones.

Love to you all and let's love ourselves a little bit more than we did before this year!