1. Beware the Ides!
2. Lost another pound and a half this week. Jennytotal: 11.4 pounds. I am grateful for the results but I still want to punch Jenny, and in particular I want to swat Sara Rue for her new perktacular commercial, losing 30 pounds in 12 weeks (GAH! Bitch!), and lisping. If it weren't for those three items, I would like her. She is very pretty.
On to the pornish blog title...
So I had this blog title in my head, kind of as a joke, because I wanted to talk about how (especially at work, when I am in full resistance mode) I have this behavioural issue around constantly ingesting. Most of the time this means I always have a can of DDP and/or bottle of water on the go, which ensures frequent trips to the bathroom to break up the monotony of editing the business users' manual for... zzzzzzzzzzzzz thunk.
Whooooops, fell asleep talking about what I do at work.
Anyway. In addition to the constant sippage, I spend a great deal of time thinking about my next meal, watching the clock in anticipation of the next opportunity to stimulate my mouth. So in preparation for this blog, I looked up "oral fixation". I remembered it vaguely from studying Freud in Psych 100 - the oral stage of development being the first experience of pleasure in a person's life, plus all this maternal relationship imbalance stuff. I find the psychosexual stuff and the matri/patricide fantasizing dodgy at best, and can remember feeling 100 years-too-late rage at Freud when studying his patriarchal condescending sexist theories, but okay, the guy had some ideas.
According to my buddy Wikipedia,
Oral fixations are considered to contribute to over-eating, being overly talkative... overindulging in sugar, chewing on straws and toothpicks... Other symptoms include a sarcastic or "biting" personality (known as "oral sadistic" qualities). Another indicator is constant nail biting, putting fingers in the mouth as well as biting any future sexual partners they may have.
Hunh.
Confession: I shit you not, I sucked my thumb until I was 18. I lived in constant fear of my brother outing me to friends, and in particular to my first boyfriend. (Ha! Totally beat him to it with this blog!) I don't remember how or why it stopped. Thankfully this hearty maxillary never required correction through orthodontics. Who knows, maybe I was destined for an underbite and the thumbsucking actually saved my parents thousands!
Anyway, yeah. Looking over the symptoms of oral fixation here: over-eater, check. Chatty, to be sure. Sugarholic, hello Beuller? Read the archives much? Sarcastic - see previous. Nail biter, why just this morning I destroyed my left ring fingernail. Finger sucker, not so much in the last 20 years, but, yeah. Biting sexual partners... well, it does say future sexual partners, so I think that buys me a bit of time on that category.
Well anyway, isn't it fascinating? Wikipedia doesn't say what to do with this information. I don't know if there is treatment. It seems this condition comes about during the breastfeeding process. Weaned too soon or not soon enough. Should I find myself a wet nurse and fashion a do-over of the breastfeeding stage of development so I can finally move on to anal fixation? Maybe hire a videographer so I can make a little something on the side by selling video to online fetishists?
I don't know, I think I may be on to something.
Posts
i also sucked my thumb until my late teens.
ReplyDeletethere you go. we are samesies yet again.
wrathtastic, fabulous moniker, if very mysterious. Er, don't I know you from somewhere? Well holy cow it's so great to know somebody else out there was a thumbsucker too!!! If only I knew who you were I would send you a big old thumb-shaped lollipop to say thanks. Or maybe get one of those chocolate dildos from Lovecraft.
ReplyDeleteI really thought this blog would get more action. Are people shocked? Disgusted? Unmoved? Puzzled? Google Analytics tells me people are nothing cuz they didn't read it. Frownyfaces.
Well anyway. I enjoy the sound of my own voice so I'll just continue chatting away. That's what we oral fixaters do.
Hey, so you're an oral sadist? Mraourw, that sounds fun. I think I'm an oral masochist.
ReplyDeleteSo, during all our teen sleepovers, watching Miami Vice and gnoshing whole bags of Hostess S&VC...you were secretly sucking your thumb? Wow. Who knew.
I would have loved you even if I'd known, you know!
x's and o's,
shan
P.S. I *love* this post. I don't receive notices about your posts anymore, though. Don't know why
Snaggest! Did you used to get email notifications? I do post links to my FBK account. I've never tried that Subscribe link on the right navigation bar - is that how you got notified? That sucks it isn't working anymore. So handy. I guess you will have to check obsessively from now on. I've been trying (this week, anyway) to amp up the regularity of my postings. I just don't want to be talking about the same crap over and over, or just reporting that I lost a pound or whatever. But this week I am chatty (oral) so it's been fun. I think the time change and the warm weather has had a really positive effect on me and my mood.
ReplyDeleteRe: MVPs - I never sucked and chowed at the same time. Too dangerous. However, it is possible that when the lights went out, I may have been secretly partaking of thumb.
Oh! Well, I seem to remember that at age 17 I was a compulsive m*st*rb*tr. Hunh. I should've tried using my thumb, maybe it would have been more satisfying.
ReplyDeleteAnd I swear I never did it in the dark during a sleepover, not even after having just watched Crockett and Tubbs.
BTW, even if you did write over and over about the same stuff, you'd do it so darn funny that it wouldn't matter. I'm addicted to your blog now. No more compulsive m*st*rb*t*n necessary.
Mistress B8r, holy jeez, there was all kinds of stuff going on when we were kids that we didn't tell each other about!! I didn't figure out about mistress baiting til I was in my mid-20s. Um, anyway. Glad to hear my blog has "cured" you. Kellogg's Corn Flakes are also supposed to be good for that.
ReplyDelete