May 1: Thank god THAT's over

Greetings hero worshipers,

OY. This morning was the dreaded Sporting Life 10k run. Big shout out to the Ladies of the Cancer who all ran awesome times. Particularly proud of my girl L-Mac2, who really encouraged me to do the run, despite my lack of conditioning. She did amazing. Well, they all did. Me, on the other hand, not so much. I ran a saggy-assed 1:18:30, which is 11.5 minutes slower than last year. Sigh. Hard not to feel like a total schlep in the wake of it. I think I walked almost as much as I ran. It was a really tough slog. Trying my best to feel proud of the fact I went out and did it, despite my relative lack of training. I am a bit bummed though.

But the result has me determined to improve, which is a fantastic takeaway. I realize that I really need to have a race to work towards as a goal, to keep me running and trying to improve. So this summer I am going to see about running a few 5k races. There are tons to choose from. Try to get a faster time for a shorter distance. It's less painful and I think more achievable. All the while I will hope to continue losing weight, which should also improve my performance.

Speaking of continued weight loss, Wednesday's weigh in was awesome - another 1.8 pounds lost, which is pretty amazing, the week after a 2 pound loss. I was awarded the coveted 10% key chain for having lost 10% of my starting weight. What a glorious coppery glow it has! Apparently there are charms you get to add to it when you hit milestone numbers like 25 pounds or whatever, I guess to ensure you don't lose your motivation after having achieved this ultimate prize. SWEET!

Apr 12: Music to train for a 10k to

Hello bottom (of the fridge) feeders (i.e. the crisper)!

How’s everybody’s mood? Myself, I’m feeling pretty okay. The weather is starting to warm up, verrrrry gradually. More sunshine, more daylight = more energy and more optimism.

So I have been back in the gym for the last three weeks. Generally 3 times a week, sometimes only twice. I am trying to get in shape enough to run the 10 k on May 1, but I am running out of time. Okay, I am jogging, walking and wheezing out of time. We’ll see.

Yesterday I was on the treadmill for just 10 minutes and I knew it wasn’t my day. Horrible shin-splints. I finished the mile I was running and opted for 20 minutes on the elliptical and then 25 more on the bike, then walked the half hour home. Today I will try for much better results. Last week I was up to running 5 and 1s (five minutes running, one minute walking break). Longest distance thus far has only been 3.75 miles (10 k is 6.2 miles). I was hoping to increase the run-cycle duration by one minute each week, but I’m not feeling ready to go to 6 yet. Also need to increase the duration of the run, obviously. I've been trying to do 80 mins of cardio - supplement whatever I do in running with time on the bike. Not the same, but it's a process.

So I don’t know what kind of pace I’m going to stumble through in two weeks’ time. Last year I finished at 1:07 (1:09 the first year). I think I’d consider it GREAT work if I could do’er in 1:15 this year, but will settle for under 1:20. Hell, I will “settle” for finishing the damn thing. I will be about 15 pounds heavier this year than I was last year when I ran it, plus way more out of shape. So, no big expectations.

At the gym, I have forsaken the television in favour of music as my motivational accompaniment of choice. The television is great when you are in shape and just need a distraction from the mindless minutes you are looking to rack up. When it’s a struggle to make it through your allotted 3, 4, 5 minute run-cycle before you get to a walk break, music can be a saving grace.

I’ve got a playlist on my iPod nano called “Working out”. Some of the songs are just ones I really like; not necessarily all crazy high energy dance beat stuff. Definitely no fucking Rihanna (sorry mom) (because of the cursing, not because my mom's a fan of Rihanna. Er, are you?) Eh… eh… eh… Oh… oh… oh… Ella… ella… ella… PUNCH… PUNCH… PUNCH…

Anyway, I copied down the list of songs. It’s kind of a random list of crap that was on my iPod. Far from comprehensive. They are sorted alphabetically by artist. I marked the ones that really get me moving, mouthing the words and nodding my head stupidly.

Please submit your fave songs to give you the extra jolt you need when working out!

"Poison Arrow" - ABC
"The Look of Love" - ABC
"Freedom of Speech" - Above the Law
"Thunderstruck" - ACDC
"Back in the Saddle" - Aerosmith
"Grass" - Animal Collective
"Sk8er Boi" - Avril Lavigne
"Kick Out the Jams" - Bad Brains & Henry Rollins
"Where's Your Head At?" - Basement Jaxx
"She's Crafty" - Beastie Boys
"No Sleep Til Brooklyn" - Beastie Boys
"Annie Waits" - Ben Folds
"Gone" - Ben Folds
"Army" - Ben Folds Five
"Let's Get It Started" - Black Eyed Peas
"One Way or Another" - Blondie
"Aberdeen" - Cage the Elephant
"Lovefool" - The Cardigans
"Iron Man" - The Cardigans
"Fuck You" - Cee-Lo Green
"Should I Stay or Should I Go" - The Clash
"Rock the Casbah" - The Clash
"Low" - Cracker
"Boys Don't Cry" - The Cure
"The Love Cats" - The Cure
"Livin' Thing" - Electric Light Orchestra
"Turn To Stone" - Electric Light Orchestra
"Sweet Talkin' Woman" - Electric Light Orchestra
"Bennie and the Jets" - Elton John
"Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting" - Elton John
"Best Of My Love" - The Emotions
"Fast As You Can" - Fiona Apple
"Dog Days Are Over" - Florence & The Machine
"This is a Call" - Foo Fighters
"Best of You" - Foo Fighters
"Hard to Beat" - Hard-Fi
"Stars of CCTV" - Hard-Fi
"Striptease" - Hawksley Workman
"Clever Not Beautiful" - Hawksley Workman
"Positive Jam" - The Hold Steady
"The Swish" - The Hold Steady
"Chips Ahoy!" - The Hold Steady
"You Can Make Him Like You" - The Hold Steady
"Stuck Between Stations" - The Hold Steady
"Stay Positive" - The Hold Steady
"Start Making Sense" - Hot Panda
"Closer to Fine" - Indigo Girls
"I Make the Dough, You Get the Glory" - Kathleen Edwards
"I Kissed a Girl" - Katy Perry
"Today I Hate Everyone" - The Killjoys
"Supernova" - Liz Phair
"Salesmen, Cheats & Liars" - The Lowest of the  Low
"Eternal Fatalist" - The Lowest of the  Low
"Bleed A Little While Tonight" - The Lowest of the  Low
"Henry Needs a New Pair of Shoes" - The Lowest of the  Low
"Nervous Breakthrough" - Luscious Jackson
"Bucky Done Gun" - M.I.A.
"Galang" - M.I.A.
"Montreal -40C" - Malajube
"Sick Of Myself" - Matthew Sweet
"Combat Baby" - Metric
"Succexy" - Metric
"Bourgeouis Shangri-La" - Miss Li
"Float On" - Modest Mouse
"Paper Thin Walls" - Modest Mouse
"Use It" - The New Pornographers
"All For Swinging You Around" - The New Pornographers
"The Slow Descent Into Alcoholism" - The New Pornographers
"Letter From An Occupant" - The New Pornographers
"Supersonic" - Oasis
"Rome" - Phoenix
"Debaser" - Pixies
"Under Pressure" - Queen
"Don't Walk Away Eileen" - Sam Roberts
"Love Song" - Sara Bareilles
"Tell 'Em" - Sleigh Bells
"Six Months in a Leaky Boat" - Split Enz
"Pulling Mussels (From The Shell)" - Squeeze
"Tempted" - Squeeze
"Lola Stars and Stripes" - The Stills
"You Only Live Once" - The Strokes
"Your Favorite Thing" - Sugar
"Slack Motherfucker" - Superchunk
"Army Bound" - Ted Leo & the Pharmacists
"Some Beginner's Mind" - Ted Leo & the Pharmacists
"Shake The Sheets" - Ted Leo & the Pharmacists
"Big Sur" - The Thrills
"Highly Evolved" - The Vines
"Outtathaway" - The Vines
"Hash Pipe" - Weezer
"The Hardest Button to Button" - The White Stripes
"A Shot in the Arm" - Wilco
"Ship of Fools" - World Party

Mar 31: Weight loss tips from The Miaouw

Hello, empty theatre!

Quick update: I have started yogging again! I was holding off on reporting this, since the struggle to find motivation to exercise has been iffy at best. I didn’t sign up for the Sporting Life 10K, because I thought there’s no way I’d be ready for it. I had this romantic if sweaty notion that every year I would improve my time, and this year, what with the excess weight and the whole sloth appreciation society business, I know that won’t be possible. So I was letting that defeat me before I even got started.

Well screw that mentality. A week and a half ago, my office moved into a new building, closer to the Good Life. I decided to make good associations and new habits with this new environment, and have been going to the gym after work regularly. The first time, I got on the treadmill and told myself, whatever you have to do, just do it. So I started with 2 and 1’s (run 2 minutes, walk 1). By the end of each two minutes, I was a mess, but I was determined. I just set the speed lower. Yesterday I was up to 4 and 1’s, which is great improvement over just 10 days, I think. Even so, it took me 40 minutes to run 3 miles. Back in the day I was going 4-6 minutes faster, but whatever, I’m out there, doing it, which is a MAJOR WIN. Or, winning. Whatever the kids and the crazies are saying these days.

So with all that extra activity, I still only lost .8 last week. My total weight loss over the past month and a half is something like 2.4 pounds. Jeez. Even so, I feel great about returning to the exercise thing. I knew I would get back to it eventually. I’ve decided I’m still going to sign up for the Sporting Life 10K on May 1. I don’t give a shit what my time is; for me, the triumph will be showing up and gettin’ ‘er done.

Okay, on to the titillating subject line at hand: The Miaouw has a couple of unorthodox diet tricks that I thought might be useful if you are out of your mind and if you first sign a waiver that you won’t sue me or anything.

1. Do not wear winter jackets in winter.
   Being from southern California, winter is an anomaly to the Miaouw. I got him a winter coat for Christmas two years ago. He brought it back to California and then forgot it there. But he is undaunted. He goes out in the frigid sub-zero temperatures in a cardigan with a windbreaker, and when I look at him like he’s nuts, he insists that this is a weight loss scheme. I suppose there are a lot of extra calories to be burned through violent shivering. I think he also thinks the little metabolism elves are taking chunks of fat storage and throwing them on the fire, trying to warm up his body. I gotta admit, this theory sounds kinda sciency.



2. Blood donation on a regular basis.
   So the idea is, not only do you lose the initial mass from the liquid (great for pre-weigh-ins!), but that your body burns calories in generating more blood to restore your reserves. At one point, he was suggesting we do a blood clinic crawl – donate blood every day for a week. Alas, it never came to pass, so I can’t offer up any evidence to support this wild theory. The other drawback, of course, is you wouldn’t be allowed to eat the cookie afterwards. That would totally defeat the purpose, obvs.

Well anyway, these are just some ideas that I in no way endorse and will not be held criminally responsible for. Enjoy, little lab rats!

Jan 20: Fitness goals

So, a couple years ago when I started this blog, I decided to set a fitness goal of running a 10k. When I achieved the goal a couple months later, I reflected in a video blog that setting a goal had been a key factor in getting my ass out to the gym on a regular basis. I really do believe that. If you have to train for an event of some kind (whether it's one of your own planning or a large scale organized affair), the motivation to ensure you're prepared for it tends to get you off the couch when plain old vanity or concern for your health might not be sufficient.

So what is my current fitness goal, you may ask? Well. I am still deliberating on whether this is something I will feel comfortable attempting, but I am toying with signing up for the Good Life Toronto (half) Marathon, happening Sunday, May 15. I haven't signed up yet, probably won't until much closer to the date.

The background on this heady notion: for several years now, my mom and I walk this half-marathon route, although up until this year, the event has been held in October, not May. This past October, we were signed up to do it, and then my mom injured her knee. I decided to go anyway, with her encouragement. I hadn't done any training, hellz, I hadn't even done any running for several months. But since I was there on my own, I decided to experiment and see how much of the route I could run. I was able to alternate running and walking until about the 15 km mark, when the pain was too great to continue the pavement pounding, so I did my best to walk the rest as fast as I could. Where my mom and I have normally completed the 21k in around 3:45-3:50, I finished in 3:11. Not exactly world class, but I was pleased. I thought if I could do that with no training at all, maybe I could improve my time considerably by the new spring date. At least I have a time to shoot for. I'm sure I could get under 3 hours, and would hope for around 2:30-2:45.

The thing is, I am so fucking fat and out of shape right now! I have no lung capacity, and get the asthma-wheezies after 10 mins of running. I really need to build up to it, and I'm not sure four months is enough. So for sure I will sign up for the Sporting Life 10k again, happening 2 weeks before the half marathon, on May 1. I will look to improve my time again this year (first time, 1:09; last year, 1:07). I'm sure running will get easier once I shed some of the excess baggage, and also get back into shape.

The Good Life marathon route is similar to the Sporting Life route (although twice as long), in that they both go straight down Yonge St for much of the run, which is mostly all downhill. This is a sizable carrot in front of me. I could put off the fitness goal til the fall, when Toronto's other marathon, the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront marathon, happens on Oct. 16. But I like the idea of the downhill boost. So, I don't know.

For sure I will do the 10k. For now I am focussing on just doing an hour of cardio in the gym 3 times a week, gradually introducing running into that as I start to feel more fit. Basically, I am not a fan of running. I am a fan of achieving seemingly impossible goals, though, so I soldier on.

What about y'all? Share a goal so I can hold you to it!

May 3: Weekend of wins

Hi-yooooo!

Fresh off my triumphant finish at the Sporting Life 10k run in Toronto! Okay, I gotta admit, I didn't triumph as triumphantly as I was hoping to. I finished in 1:07:07, which is exactly 2 minutes faster than last year. This is not insignificant, but less than I was shooting for. I feel like I did not have the mental strength to soldier through, take fewer walking breaks, etc. With about 2-3 km (1.5-2 miles) left in the race, I knew that if I could focus enough to slow down my pace but keep it steady, without anymore breaks, that I could meet my goal. And I made the choice not to suffer for it. I did a good job and I'm proud of my improvement. I'm just not one of those athletes who knows how to suffer.

And really, the race felt like suffering to me. About halfway through I was thinking to myself about how much I just wanted to walk the rest of the way. I don't know if this is just something runners go through when they are out there on race day, or it's because it doesn't come naturally to me or what. Maybe I just have to keep working at it, to improve my fitness, so it isn't so difficult to finish. The first 20-30 minutes of the run went great. Although, okay. That's where there are a couple of really great downhill grades. (The advantages of which, by the way, are purchased on credit with payment in full to be delivered to my thobbing quads the next day.)

I am still determined to improve, and try again in July for the 10 miler. I think I need to train outdoors more. I figured out why the treadmill is so much easier: it creates momentum that you have to make on your own when you run outside. Anyway, I know I have been improving my times and my endurance, and I'm motivated to keep working at it, but I just want to say: don't love running. Love the challenge, though. And the benefits I've seen. It's good to set goals and work to achieve them.

Congrats to all the Ladies of the Cancer, by the way. They totally smoked. I think five (?) of them broke an hour, and the others were not far behind. Hat tip to the Torq and Kat ("wrath of" in the comments) for all their ever-lovin support and encouragement.


Okay, the other triumph this week: lost 2.4 pounds! WORD. My metabolism is like a tourist meandering along Yonge St., taking in the sites, in no great hurry, and I'm trying to get around them so I can pick up my pace. Er, I think that metaphor got away on me. Point being: slow. So if I lose more than a single pound in a week, it's great news. Thus, I was very happy with the number. I am through trying to believe that the numbers on the scale don't mean anything! I love the numbers!

Apr 26: Return of the Stubby Hourglass

Wouldja lookit the date on this post? It's almost MAY! It's a windy day here in Toronto and on my walk to work I looked up and saw a big old tree, covered in glorious green leaves, rustling and swaying to and fro, and it just made me beam. Love this time of year! Blossoms on the trees everywhere too. Fabulous.

Okay, so on Saturday I had my monthly measurements taken. In addition to the .8 of a pound lost, bringing the grand total to 15.4, I was heartened to learn I've lost another 2 inches off my waist, plus an inch off the pooch and an inch off the gazongas as well. The hips remain stubbornly shapely. Rump likes being rump!

Since the start of February, I've lost seven inches from my waist! Wow. My middle was getting pretty thickly there. My measurements as of Saturday are 38-30-41. (Maybe 41.5?) If I was 4 or 5 inches taller, that actually wouldn't be too bad! But for now, I'm pretty pleased - at least everything is in proportion. Total inches lost all over is 19. But I take this number with a grain of salt because they now measure the abdomen/pooch, which means you get another bunch of inches to add to your overall total that once went un-tracked. Still, though, it is great to see the progress represented numerically: NINETEEN! NINETEEN INCHES OF FAT REMOVED, AH, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAAA!

Okay so this Sunday is the big 10k run. I'm feeling ready - last night I ran 5.5 miles (10k is about 6.2 miles), in a blistering time of 57:51. I don't know how it's going to go, running outside. Last year I was surprised by how much faster I ran than I had been training/expecting. I think a lot of it is the adrenaline, the excitement of the event, being surrounded by all these other runners, the energy you get from one another. I would like to better my time from last year (1:09:07) by 4-5 minutes if possible. I feel like I've been training a lot stronger and faster than I was last year. But I realize that's a lot of time to shave. I'll be happy with any time that is an improvement on last year.

Rock on kiddiewinks!