Feb 9: Shout out to Jan!

Hello edge-of-your-seaters!

It's Wednesday afternoon, which means I come bearing news of The Scale. We are friends this week: down 1.8, which is pretty not bad considering I barely moved my lazy arse all week. I gotta get going on the activity thing. I know it. I just don't feel like it, you know? Whatever, cry cry, wah wah, nothing new under this massive, luminous ball of plasma a.k.a. the sun.

So I check my Google Analytics every day, just to get a sense of my global audience. Today I had a visitor from Romania. I get these international students from time to time. I think they took a wrong turn at Albuquerque, because they don't stay long.

Ever since my mom got herself a little MacBook and a high speed internet connection (and I reminded her of the existence of this blog), I've been seeing regular visits from Kingston, Ontario. Now, it could be my nephew, studying at Queen's University, coming in from the Facebook link when I post new blogs there, but I'm thinking... wait for it... no. My sense is that it is more likely my mom. Cuz she checks every day for new content! I love it! Only thing is, sometimes I've been known to use the F word and I'm not talking about frankfurters. All this time she thought I was pure as the driven snow. I wonder, does she wrinkle her nose and turn away? Does she roll her eyes and shake her head like the sadder but wiser girl? Maybe she laughs, safe in the knowledge I cannot see her acquiescence? Perhaps I'll never know. Maybe it's best that way.

Anyway, Jan and I go way, waaaaay back when it comes to dieting woes. Currently she's rocking the JC and training for her next marathon walk in late spring. You read that right. She walks ENTIRE marathons. Well, one at a time. But holy mother of... me... guys, CAN YOU BEWIEVE IT? The woman is impressive.

So, just wanted to dedicate this blog to my mom and to say thanks for raising me up to become the blog writing goddess (bloggess?) I am today. Please feel free to pay your respects below. In fact, I encourage it.

To Jan!

PS to Mom, but also others if you are interested, Jenny Craig's latest guinea pig is the hilarious Carrie Fisher. She is writing a blog on the JC website about her experience on the program, much like Sara Rue and Valerie Bertinelli did before her, although the updates are sporadic.

Mar 25: Googlers

Hey, have a paw:

==3

Just thought I'd check in, say hey, extend the paw. Jenny serves me well - I lost another pound last week, word. The Cancer Ladies also serve me well - my cardio capacity seems to be improving, as are my run times. I did 3 miles on Sunday in 35 minutes and change, and then two days later I did the same run in 34:12. Tonight after work is a 2 mile run with the gals. I expect to huff and puff and hate every minute of it, but running with faster folks seems to be pushing me to extremes I wouldn't do on my own.

So, I use Google Analytics to obsess over who visits this blog. I happen to know, very few. That's fine. I mean, I was hoping by now to at least have my own TV show, but let's face it, I'm no Diablo Cody. (I totally would have worn the shoes.)

Anyway, every once in awhile somebody stumbles onto this blog as a result of a wayward Google search. By far the most popular entry for non-recruits is the one I wrote last April about the Google Maps pedometer. Somehow it got indexed by Google, and now shows up at the bottom of the first page of results when people search on "google maps pedometer". Hunh! Well I hope it's been helpful.

For shits 'n' gigs, I looked at the search terms used over the past year that brought people here (one at a time, for the most part). Here are some faves:

• "president's choice" + decadent chocolate chip cookie
  So referenced in the comments section of a blog asking what foods people cannot keep in their homes for fear of total annihilation within hours.



• crazy lola say: i don't know what to say, he cheated on me with some girl for 5 months
  This one made me laugh my ass off. So random.



• fondle my biceps
  Right on! I love that somebody searched this term, and that they came to my photo with the marked up biceps.



• i really hate myself
  Sad. I hope whoever searched on that term stopped feeling that way. Glad to say I did. (Not to say I didn't return to that feeling, but thankfully it's not a permanent condition.)



• im 19 and bored (related: im frucking bored and depressed)
  Wonder if Iggy Pop helped ease the pain for these two?



• stale cereal calories
  Another winner for the Cereal Killer post! Did the person searching these terms think stale cereal had fewer calories? The food is dehydrated, therefore less fluid, therefore less mass? Wow, I could be like a science genius.



• what is the meaning for the sentence "hotter than i should be"
  I love it when I am able to answer the tough questions for people.



• mandibular disfunktion
  This one had me stumped until I checked the comments section. My girl Cookie was referencing Temporo-Mandibular Joint disfunction. I had never heard of it when she mentioned it, and promptly forgot all about it until just now. And once I finish writing this sentence, I'll forget about it again. Did you say something?

Well alright, that was fun. Time to get back to work. Fondle your Google today!