...you never know when you've gonna cave and buy a box of chocolates.
Okay, so, this past week, I was a MACHINE in the gym. I did cardio six days, for a minimum of 45 mins, but up to an hour (and on Wed/Sat when I met with my trainer, it was more like an hour and a half all tolled). It was great; I felt great. I'm definitely increasing my endurance as far as the running is concerned (on Friday night I was on the treadmill for 55 minutes! Some of it was walking but that's okay.)
So I guess I was thinking, jeez, with all this added exercise, for sure I'm gonna have a great week on the scale. And when I weighed myself a couple days before weigh in day, I was 152.5, which was 1.5 pounds down from the previous Sunday. Hoohoo!!!
So imagine my annoyance on Sunday when I got on the scale and it said 153.5. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to care about these numbers. YOU TRY not caring about the rassin-frassin numbers!! It is a life-long habit. Some weeks I am better at letting it roll off than others. Anyway, I know it's just chemistry or something. Not to mention my scale is a piece of unreliable shit.
So I went out for a nice long walk in the sunshine, like I said I would. About 3 hours. And on my way home, I picked up some groceries. Took my time, wandering the aisles, considering various sinful treats I might indulge in. And I didn't get any of them. But then I stopped at Shopper's Drug Mart and bought a box of chocolates. And then I stopped further up the street at McRaunchy's, of all places. But here is the (quite small) moment of (sort of) triumph: instead of a quarter pounder with cheese and medium fries, I got a cheeseburger and small fries. And then I went home and ATE IT AAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!
So, I guess that's why I haven't posted a weigh-in video yet. I mean, I still lost weight. And I'm not even really sure why I caved. I think I was just missing the binge sensation. I don't know if any of you know what I'm talking about, but sometimes I just want that experience of getting lost in the food-drug. I was right back on track yesterday, though I didn't exercise, and I'm back on track again today, with plans to run tonight. That's one cool thing about getting into a regular exercise routine: I find I miss it when I take a day or two off.
Anyway, thank god that's over. One of the reasons I am chronicling this weight loss journey online is to make myself accountable. It's important that I share the slips as well as the great moments. Thanks for being here to bear witness.
PS the chocolate was delicious, until it got to be really gross and sickening.
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Ya, those damn chocolates. My scale has betrayed me as well. Went up a pound and a half and I did nothing to deserve it!
ReplyDeleteSo I had a couple of donuts 'cuz that seemed only righteous.
You go. You are fantastic for having a set back and getting right back on track.
Seriously.
I think you (and maybe Taaaaarnagh too?) should treat yourself to a new scale. Or maybe have two so you can do both and pick the lower number? I dunno, maybe that's insane.
ReplyDeleteTaarnaaaaaaaggggghh, I love it. I love YOU! Punish the scale with donuts! Take that motherfucker!
ReplyDelete[Sorry for the cursing, Mom.]
Joy, you know, that's not a bad idea. I have held off on buying a new one because I know my unreliable crap scale is actually calibrated at a couple pounds lower than average (I know this from when I used to go every Saturday morning to get weighed in at Jenny Craig, and also from when I got weighed a few weeks back at the gym).
It doesn't really matter to me what my true weight is, but I do want the consistency week to week of knowing where I am relative to my starting point. I could get a reliable scale and weigh myself twice. That does actually seem kind of insane, especially from someone who gives lip service to not letting herself get caught up in the numbers game.
But I'm fine with insane.
My birthday happened last week.
ReplyDeleteChocolate happened.
My mom seems completely determined to fix food that is full of fat, meat, dairy and cheerfully announce that she made dinner when I get home after a long day at work.
Do I want to cook another meal? Do I want to get into it with her AGAIN? Do I want to see her crumble into tears if I say, No Thanks?
NO. To any of those.
I wish she'd eat more healthy. When I cook, she eats it, but after a few days I hear grumbling about how she needs more meat, or more something...it's clearly not satisfying her. Fine, get it yourself!
We may need to completely separate our food/meals.
*sigh*
Last week I had a client one morning before work, a session with my biz coach/website developer (Dawud), and my neck and shoulders were being a pain, literally. I didn't go to the gym except once and I overate and ate foods high in fat more often than I wanted to.
*sigh again*
I want to know how to carve out an hour and a half for myself when I have a teenager that needs me to shepherd her homework and activity level, a mom that is an emotional basket case and needing more physical help these days, a dog that needs a walk, a full time job, and a goal of building my practice, seeing the random client that books an appt., a boyfriend far away, and a certification goal (but that can wait, there's no time limit).
Honestly, I think I'll have to quit Facebook and the blogs, but whoops! There goes my fun/joy/social life and support!
I guess I can just go to bed an hour earlier, and sleep an hour less.
(I'm feeling a little snarky about being pulled in a whole bunch of directions...can you tell?)
BUT, I did work out HARD this morning, and have a nice walk with the dog.
I think I just need a good cry in addition, and then all will be well.
Oh, Dee! I'm sorry life is so challenging right now. I think sometimes you just have to triage your goals and enjoy the small victories as they occur. When I had my consult last week with my trainer, one of the things he asked me was, what are the potential barriers that might stop you from achieving your goal? And all I could come up with was, "I am preternaturally lazy."
ReplyDeleteI mean, I don't have kids, my job is not too taxing, I live alone, I make my own rules... I have it so much easier than you do right now! So if you can find time to go to the gym once a week, and you work out HARD when you go, well, hell, that's probably more than I would be doing in your situation. I think, given the particular stresses you are facing right now, especially with your mom's illness, that you are doing SPECTACULARLY!
I'm so glad we have this space to come and offer support and encouragement, and that you are comfortable using it as a place to vent your frustration. We draw strength and inspiration from each other, I think.
Hang in there, friend.
[deep breath]
ReplyDeleteYa. After I wrote that, I had a run in (small) with my kid who wanted 20 min out of my morning to drive her to school.
Then I drove to the grocery store, parked and called my best bud Taar, who was great at illiciting a good meltdown, and helpful "fix-it" strategies and made me aware that I am Superwoman. That no one, doing what I'm doing, should be made to feel like a failure.
Well, that brought on a whole mess of tears, from needing to hear that so badly.
So, I'm a little drained, but feeling better.
Your words also, ring true and supportively, and creates more space for me to breathe.
This IS a great spot to come and vent and air out and get support.
Thanks for creating this place for all of us.
xoxo
There's nothing like the catch and release of friends to catch you while you release the tears. I hope you're feeling better this week.
ReplyDeletexo, Linny